Some people believe that children's time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. Others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #time #school #activities #art #music #classes #sports

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While

some people think

childrean

Correct your spelling

children

have to spend their

time

in some classes like art and music or sports activities after their

schools

Fix the agreement mistake

school

show examples

othe

Correct your spelling

other

groups think

that is

better to let them

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apply

show examples

be free I

completly

Correct your spelling

completely

agree with rather group. Filding

childreen

Correct your spelling

children

all the

time

in a day

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

graet

Correct your spelling

great

for finding their talent when they are so young but it could be some

dangres

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dangerous

dangers

danger

for them. If a

child

is at school for 8 hours in a day and

then

she or he

get

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gets

show examples

to the gym or

ever

Correct your spelling

every

show examples

classes

Fix the agreement mistake

class

show examples

namely, art music or theater for 2 hours, the

time

it have is about 10 hours and

it is clear that

this

time

should spent

for

Change preposition

show examples

sleaping

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sleeping

. so any

time

is not for playing as a

child

it is better for families to

sing

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sign

show examples

up them in

this

type of

classes

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class

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

the summers

show examples

summers

Fix the agreement mistake

summer

show examples

. As far as children need

time

for free or playing it is necessary to let them be a

child

when they are. If a baby

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show examples

busy likely

it`s

Correct your spelling

its

show examples

parents there is no

time

to enjoy

it`s

Replace the word

its

show examples

life without any

overvelming

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overwhelming

situation. In some

reaserch

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research

Dr.

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show examples

Fisher

have

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has

show examples

done, dreams and talent

discovers

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discover

show examples

when we are

child

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children

show examples

and our mind is empty and

a lots

Correct the article-noun agreement

lots

a lot

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invetions

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inventions

happened

Wrong verb form

happen

show examples

Change preposition

from

show examples

age 6 until 18. when these

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

are free without any thinking are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

able to be the best version of themselves and

this

is not going to happen

whith

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with

being busy as

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

. In

conclousion

Correct your spelling

conclusion

, people must let their baby to be comfortable and enjoy

Change preposition

apply

show examples

childhood.

Submitted by TUTOO on Sat Jun 08 2024

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task achievement

Your response addresses both views, but your opinion could be more clearly articulated and consistently maintained throughout the essay. Make sure that your stance is evident in each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence, try to use more linking words and phrases. This will help create a smoother flow between ideas and sentences. Additionally, ensure each paragraph has one main idea that is well-developed.

task achievement

Your main points would be stronger with more specific examples and explanations. Incorporate relevant, concrete examples to illustrate your arguments more effectively.

coherence cohesion

Your writing includes an introduction and a conclusion which help structure the essay. Good job!

task achievement

You touched upon important points for both viewpoints. This demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

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Some people believe that children's time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. Others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Government should invest more money in science education rather than other subjects to develop the country. Do you agree or disagree?

With increasing populations and ever growing urban centers, many countries are losing their natural beauty spots. What benefits are there to protecting places of natural beauty? How can this be solved?

Is forcing students to study hard at school a good idea? Agree or disagree?

countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.