Some people believe that children's time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. Others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
While
some people think childrean
have to spend their Correct your spelling
children
time
in some classes like art and music or sports activities after their schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
othe
groups think Correct your spelling
other
that is
better to let them to
be free I Change the verb form
apply
completly
agree with rather group.
Filding Correct your spelling
completely
childreen
all the Correct your spelling
children
time
in a day that
is Correct pronoun usage
apply
graet
for finding their talent when they are so young but it could be some Correct your spelling
great
dangres
for them. If a Correct your spelling
dangerous
dangers
danger
child
is at school for 8 hours in a day and then
she or he get
to the gym or Change the verb form
gets
ever
Correct your spelling
every
classes
namely, art music or theater for 2 hours, the Fix the agreement mistake
class
time
it have is about 10 hours and it is clear that
this
time
should spent for
Change preposition
on
sleaping
. so any Correct your spelling
sleeping
time
is not for playing as a child
it is better for families to sing
up them in Correct your spelling
sign
this
type of classes
Fix the agreement mistake
class
at
Change preposition
in
Correct article usage
the summers
summers
.
As far as children need Fix the agreement mistake
summer
time
for free or playing it is necessary to let them be a child
when they are. If a baby be
busy likely Change the verb form
is
it`s
parents there is no Correct your spelling
its
time
to enjoy it`s
life without any Replace the word
its
overvelming
situation. In some Correct your spelling
overwhelming
reaserch
Correct your spelling
research
Dr.
Fisher Change the punctuation
Dr
have
done, dreams and talent Change the verb form
has
discovers
when we are Change the verb form
discover
child
and our mind is empty and Fix the agreement mistake
children
a lots
of Correct the article-noun agreement
lots
a lot
invetions
Correct your spelling
inventions
happened
Wrong verb form
happen
in
age 6 until 18. when these Change preposition
from
childrens
are free without any thinking are Correct your spelling
children
be
able to be the best version of themselves and Unnecessary verb
apply
this
is not going to happen whith
being busy as Correct your spelling
with
child
.
In Fix the agreement mistake
children
conclousion
, people must let their baby to be comfortable and enjoy Correct your spelling
conclusion
of
childhood.Change preposition
apply
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task achievement
Your response addresses both views, but your opinion could be more clearly articulated and consistently maintained throughout the essay. Make sure that your stance is evident in each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, try to use more linking words and phrases. This will help create a smoother flow between ideas and sentences. Additionally, ensure each paragraph has one main idea that is well-developed.
task achievement
Your main points would be stronger with more specific examples and explanations. Incorporate relevant, concrete examples to illustrate your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your writing includes an introduction and a conclusion which help structure the essay. Good job!
task achievement
You touched upon important points for both viewpoints. This demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.