You have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year old child.Write a letter to the parents .In your letter -explain why would like the job -give details why you would be a suitable person to employ -say how you spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #child #parents #-explain #job #-give #person #-say #time #australia

Dear Sir, I hope

this

letter finds you in good spirits. I am writing

this

letter to you regarding the advertisement shown in the newspaper for taking care of your child. Well, I think that I could be a perfect match for

this

job because I have passed

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

college with the child care course with excellent grades. I have a cheerful nature,

thus

whenever I visit my

brothers

Change noun form

brother's

brothers'

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house their little ones really enjoy my company.

Furthermore

, I have worked as a nanny for 4 months during my placement at my college and I gained some beneficial practical experience as well.

Moreover

, my sister was in

hospital

Add an article

the hospital

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last

year for four months

due to

her surgery and her

six year

Add a hyphen

six-year

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dauther

Correct your spelling

daughter

was left with me to take care

Change preposition

of.

show examples

I am free during

Correct article usage

the evening

show examples

evening

Fix the agreement mistake

evenings

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and weekends after my studies

then

I usually go and enjoy the company of two 7 years kids of my house owner who just lives upstairs from me. They are

addorable

Correct your spelling

adorable

and

loves

Correct subject-verb agreement

love

show examples

me a lot. I think

Remove the comma

apply

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I could be a good match for your requirement. I will be looking forward to

hear

Change the verb form

hearing

show examples

from you. Yours sincerely, Navneet

Submitted by ss6802125 on Sat Jun 08 2024

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coherence

To improve coherence, work on creating more seamless transitions between paragraphs and ideas.

task achievement

Use more varied sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the tone and make it more engaging for the reader.

task achievement

You have clearly covered all parts of the task, ensuring a complete response.

greeting and closing

The closing is polite and appropriately formal, which is suitable for this kind of letter.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

Dear + name
Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

193 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The Greeting

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Most of the urgent problems can only be solved with international cooperation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is sometimes said that people who do physically hard jobs should be paid as much as those with higher-level qualifications. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples.