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Band 5

Write advantages and disadvantages of child labour.

#child #labour
As we explore our culture , we are known to
silent
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silence
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struggle
Correct article usage
the struggle
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 of innocent
adolscents
Correct your spelling
adolescents
adolescent
 behind the doors of factories,farms and industries.
Such
 suppression of innocent smiles is considered
child
labour
.
Beside
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Besides
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 the mixed reviews about
this
 topic,
child
labour
 has become a growing trend nowadays,making it a crucial scenario to discuss.
To the
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The
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 one part of
argument
Add an article
the argument
an argument
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 , We can perceive
child
labour
 from a positive perspective.since the presence of limited job opportunities and hyperinflation,
child
labour
 has become a prominent source of income for families facing economic challenges.
children
 bearing their own expenses have put a relief on the major income earner of the family.
moreover
,as part of
child
labour
,
children
 are indulged in exhausting and repetitive tasks.
such
 continuous practice enhances the technical and manual skill set of
children
,increasing their chances
to get
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of getting
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 demanding jobs in future.  
on the other hand
,
child
labour
 can be an abusive act.
Due to
 poor working conditions and irrelevant working hours
time
Correct word choice
and time
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 schedules,
children
 are exploited and forced to perform herculean task work at the compensation of minimal wages.
This
 just not only brings mental pressure on
children
 but
also
 disturbs their social life.
While
 dedicating sufficient time in the day,
children
 are deprived of education and social activities.which
further
 limits their quality of life. Though
child
labour
 has become a crucial source Of survival for families in
such
 economic crisis,
but
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apply
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in my point of view, it is generally an oppressive action towards
children
,forcing them to sacrifice their precious childhood and rights to reach a minimum literacy level and qualifications for broadening their career opportunities.
Submitted by tushalk329 on

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task achievement
While your essay introduces relevant points about child labour, it could benefit from clearer, comprehensive examples to support those points. Specific data or case studies can help to illustrate your arguments more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Improving the logical flow from one idea to the next will strengthen your coherence. Each paragraph should naturally lead to the next, aiding the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure and grammatical accuracy to elevate the clarity of your ideas. Simple errors can sometimes cloud complex arguments.
task achievement
You’ve successfully introduced both sides of the argument. This balanced approach demonstrates an understanding of the complexity of the issue.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid framework for your arguments.
task achievement
Your discussion on the skills gained during child labour and its impact on future job prospects is an insightful point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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