Children can learn different things about the world by watching films. What kinds of things do children learn by watching films? Are all these things good for children?
It is generally said that videotapes teach offspring various concepts and skills. Though I think
this
is true to a great extent, I hardly think all that they learn from those are beneficial.
The first thing that a child can absorb from videotape
is the diverse lifestyles of people across the earth
. videotape
generally highlight
the living patterns of people where they are shot, and Correct subject-verb agreement
highlights
this
ranges from what they eat to how they behave in various social situations. offspring are also
interested to know the scientific and technological progresses
, which are commonly portrayed in the Change the wording
progress
signs of progress
videotape
. For example
, the basics of modern technologies like advanced forensic sciences and biotechnology are included in many motion picture
, and Fix the agreement mistake
pictures
this
gives the offspring opportunities to learn related concepts. Finally
, videotape
enhance
the linguistic abilities of offspring. Various aspects like accent, vocabulary and specific usage of languages are acquired by offspringChange the verb form
enhances
,
when they watch Remove the comma
apply
videotape
. offspring can also
become aware of the cultural and geographical features of parts of the earth
, like the Sahara or Antarctica from videotape
.
There might be contrasting opinions when the question is asked whether all things offspring learn from videotape
are good. I feel as a child procures some necessary information about the earth
from videotape
, he is likely to acquire some unhealthy behaviours like smoking and drinking from the characters portrayed in the videotape
.
To conclude
, I think though videotapes give ample opportunities for youngsters to learn many things about the earth
, I feel that not all what
they watch Change preposition
of what
in
Change preposition
on
videotapes
Fix the agreement mistake
videotape
are
good.Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Submitted by henikeassociates on
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task achievement
In your essay, you have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which is excellent. To improve further, consider adding more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For example, you mentioned technological progress and language skills but didn't give explicit examples from well-known films or educational programs that demonstrate these points.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a logical structure and flows well from one point to another. However, connecting words and phrases can be refined to improve cohesion. For instance, instead of starting sentences with 'offspring' repeatedly, you might use pronouns or synonyms to avoid repetition and maintain reader interest.
coherence cohesion
Ensure consistent use of terminology. In the current essay, terms like 'videotape' and 'offspring' feel slightly outdated and repetitive. Using alternatives or synonyms can make the essay more engaging and varied.
task achievement
Your essay effectively covers the main points related to the topic, including the types of things children can learn from films and the potential downsides. This shows a thorough understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
You've used a clear and organized structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This makes your essay easy to follow and understand.
task achievement
Your points are generally well-supported and elaborated, showing your ability to develop ideas clearly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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