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Band 5.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #attention
Advertisement is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 difficult thing to engage humankind to buy the
product
 and increase the campaign’s sales. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 we will look at some points of view why advertising attracts people, and why the abundance of advertising leads to a decline in people’s
overall
 interest. On the one hand, to persuade someone to finance something, campaigns need to create a unique
advert
 to influence someone's choice.
For instance
, when I was in high school I needed to take some English courses, and I decided to look on the internet. I was looking for something and
then
 found an
advert
, it was unique and wasn’t like others. They promote interesting ways of the education process so I chose them only because of an
advert
.
On the other hand
, campaigns want to capture the whole marketing market
thus
 leading to sales problems. It can refer to a
product
 that just needs to be sold. In some cases it can create a strong basement to collect human attention
as a result
 people likely remember your brand. As an example, I want to
provide
Verb problem
describe
show examples
 a situation from my own life, when
one
Correct determiner usage
a
show examples
 friend of mine without any need
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 a sports suit came to shop and he bought it. He did it only because he saw an
advert
 on the internet for a long period of time. The way I see it, marketing is a difficult thing to persuade someone who doesn’t even need anything to buy.
Moreover
, an
advert
 should appear
while
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 the user requires a specific
product
.
To sum up
, you can use different ways to attract people’s attention,
for example
 in social media
such
 as Instagram and Facebook. Humankind should see the real power of marketing
so
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 come up with unique, creative advertising that shows the value of a
product
.
Submitted by vladkruglovfencer on

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introduction conclusion present
Attempt to enrich your introduction and conclusion by incorporating more detailed insight into the discussed topic and summarizing key points more effectively.
logical structure
Enhance paragraph transitions to improve the flow and ensure that each paragraph smoothly leads to the next.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strengthen your main points with more in-depth analysis and explanation to convey clear and comprehensive ideas.
complete response
Your essay address the prompt adequately and covers both views on advertising's effectiveness.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant personal examples, which help to clarify the points being made.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
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