In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations.

n
Correct your spelling
In
today’s world, many developed countries are experiencing a substantial
increase
in life’s duration and that caused a big obstacle for the
government
.
This
essay will illustrate major problems and possible solutions to reduce
detrimental
Correct article usage
the detrimental
show examples
impact
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
issue. First of all, the
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population has put a heavy burden
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
the authority. The older
people
get, the more healthcare they need because elderly
people
usually have serious
disease
Fix the agreement mistake
diseases
show examples
such
as heart attack or diabetes, which require more
money
in healthcare in order to face the
demand
Fix the agreement mistake
demands
show examples
of
aging
Add an article
the aging
show examples
population. Another problem is there will be an
increase
in the proportion of retired
people
claiming retirement benefits, and a big decrease in the percentage of
people
who are able to work and
make
Verb problem
apply
show examples
benefit
to
Change preposition
from
show examples
income taxes to the country. For that reason, spending more
money
on old
people
and
get
Wrong verb form
getting
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less
money
from
employee
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employees
show examples
makes
Verb problem
puts
show examples
the country’s economy being chaos. The
government
should implement a variety of measures to deal with these problems. The first probable solution is to encourage young workers from other countries, which could help
increase
the country’s income and productivity. Another measure is that the
government
can
increase
the
age
for retirement, many countries set a standard pension at
age
55,
they
Correct word choice
but they
show examples
could extend the
age
into
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to
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60 or 65 years since
people
are still in a healthy and prime condition.
Finally
, educating
people
about the importance of spending
money
efficiently when
people
get old,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing
this
, they will have a certain amount of
money
to take care of themselves without the need to depend on their children or the
government
. In conclusion,
while
financial
Correct article usage
the financial
show examples
impact of the
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
population is huge, it can easily be resolved by taking certain measures like allowing immigrant workers and extending
pension
Correct article usage
the pension
show examples
age
.
Submitted by mg.mohiuddin76 on

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task achievement
Try to be more specific with examples. For instance, you could provide more detailed statistics or case studies about aging populations and their economic impacts.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures and use more cohesive devices to link your ideas smoothly.
task achievement
The essay provides a comprehensive overview of the problems and solutions related to aging populations.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present and clearly define the topic and summarize the essay's main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • average life expectancy
  • developed world
  • increase
  • individuals
  • society
  • personal goals
  • ambitions
  • quality of life
  • leisure
  • recreation
  • healthcare costs
  • challenges
  • healthcare system
  • ageing population
  • shortage
  • available workers
  • economy
  • retirement planning
  • healthy lifestyles
  • investing
  • social support systems
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