IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The charts below shows the number of films produced by five countries in three years

The charts below shows the number of films produced by five countries in three years
#films #five #countries #three #years
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Contained in the given bar chart is data related to the movie production of 5 different
nations
Use synonyms
 from 2007 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, clearly perceived is how the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
movies
Use synonyms
 produced by all countries increased with the exception of
nations
Use synonyms
 A and D where they saw a slight decline.
Additionally
Linking Words
, even though the
Use synonyms
films
Correct quantifier usage
number of films
show examples
 created
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
 country A experienced a decline in the
number
Use synonyms
, it still remained
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
nation
Use synonyms
 with the most
films
Use synonyms
 produced. With regards to the
nations
Use synonyms
 which made up a majority of
movies
Use synonyms
 produced ,accounting for more than 50
movies
Use synonyms
 in all years, A and B stood at approximately 98
as well as
Linking Words
 about 49
films
Use synonyms
, respectively. As for the
number
Use synonyms
 of
films
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
produced by
nation
Use synonyms
 A, it remained stable for the first year before declining from 98 to under exactly 80
movies
Use synonyms
.
By contrast
Linking Words
, the
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
films
Use synonyms
 in
nations
Use synonyms
 witnessed a significant increase throughout the period, going up from nearly 49 to about 70
movies
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it is still less than
nation
Use synonyms
 A in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
films
Use synonyms
 produced
although
Linking Words
 it increased gradually. Turning towards the remaining
nations
Use synonyms
 ,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
film production in all three countries only saw a minority in the
number
Use synonyms
 of
movies
Use synonyms
 released.
While
Linking Words
 the
films
Use synonyms
 produced by country C rose slowly between 9 and 19
films
Use synonyms
,
nation
Use synonyms
 D saw a slight decrease in the quantity of that before having a small recovery. In terms of
nation
Use synonyms
 E,
although
Linking Words
 it increased throughout the timeframe, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
movies
Use synonyms
 produced by
this
Linking Words
nation
Use synonyms
 was the least when compared to others.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words nations, movies, films, number, nation with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: