IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

the plans show how a coastal land has developed into coastal park

#plans #show #land #park
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The maps describe the transformation of coastal
land
 into a
park
.
Overall
, the area in front of the cliff has been upgraded with several facilities for the
park
,
while
 the beach behind now has easier access. Before development, there were farm buildings on the side road, in the centre of the coastal
land
. To the left of these constructions were unused
land
 and sea
animals
Fix the agreement mistake
animal
show examples
 shelters,
whereas
 the other side was agricultural
land
.
This
 area faced the cliff, right in front of the beach and sea. The place has been converted into a
park
, and located on the side road at present is a car
park
. A footpath was built from the west to the east, surrounding a new lake on the west and woods on the east. Trees were grown along the path to provide more shade, and a new coffee shop was installed behind the car
park
. The cliff in the front now has steps to allow more visitors to the beach.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider linking the paragraphs more smoothly and ensuring that all parts of the process are clearly connected.
task achievement
For a better task response, ensure that every detail in the maps is fully explained. Try to compare before and after developments more explicitly.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction gives a clear overview of what the maps describe, setting the stage for the essay.
supported main points
Main points about the changes in the coastal land have been covered, providing good detail about the addition of the park facilities.
clear comprehensive ideas
The use of specific vocabulary related to maps and development (e.g., 'footpath', 'car park', 'lake', 'cliff', 'steps') enhances clarity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: