IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars

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Over the past decade,
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams caused by
cars
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 have become a major concern in
people
Use synonyms
's lives.
This
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 worrying trend needs to be analysed thoroughly to tackle
this
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 issue. It is argued that
one
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 of the significant reasons is increasing car ownership among the population. I strongly agree with the latter opinion.
Therefore
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,
this
Linking Words
 forthcoming essay will discuss other alternatives to
cars
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, and other regularities that can be introduced by the government. On the
one
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 hand,
one
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 of the primary solutions that government could undertake to decrease
traffic
Use synonyms
jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
show examples
 is
offer
Fix the infinitive
to offer
show examples
 public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
.
In other
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words
Add a comma
words,
show examples
 providing
people
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 with bus stations and metros will effectively reduce the crowdiness on the streets.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a family composed of 5 members choose to use public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
 for their daily
endeavors
Change the spelling
endeavours
show examples
,
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 will be used.
Moreover
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, if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 starts launching metros to travel from
one
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 state to another in the same country,
people
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 will be more inclined to use the metro, as they will be more motivated by the notion of reaching their destinations earlier.
On the other hand
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, governments can encourage the
installments
Change the spelling
instalments
show examples
 of means that will enable car owners to have more smooth driving.
For example
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, if the governments place the order
of installing
Change preposition
to install
show examples
 a bridge, accessibility in navigating from
one
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 area to another will be facilitated.
Also
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, paving some roads
as well as
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 widening them, could allow more
cars
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 on the streets, and in that
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
 no invasive measures are needed.
For instance
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, placing a bridge will ease navigation from different sides.
Moreover
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, a widened road will be able to handle more
cars
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,
whereas
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narrow
Correct article usage
a narrow
show examples
 will allow
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 which will eventually lead to
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams. In conclusion,
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
 number of car
owning
Replace the word
owners
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 led to
traffic
Use synonyms
 jams, which can be avoided by the governments issuing some regularities that relate to the road and offering public transportation to
people
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 to discourage them from using
cars
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.
Moreover
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, increasing awareness among
people
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 to use public
transfortation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 is recommended.
Submitted by alamer_ma on

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task achievement
Ensure all key points are thoroughly developed and supported with clear and specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Strive for a more organized structure by clearly delineating each main point with appropriate paragraphs and cohesive devices.
language
Proofread for minor grammatical errors and improve vocabulary range to enhance clarity and sophistication.
task achievement
Clear articulation of the problem and proposed solutions.
coherence cohesion
Usage of transitional phrases and cohesive devices helps in maintaining the flow of the essay.
introduction conclusion
A well-rounded introduction and conclusion that encapsulate the main ideas effectively.
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