With increased global demand in oil and gas, undiscovered areas of the world should be opened up to access more resources. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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First and foremost, more employment opportunities will be created
thus
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putting people into working mode. By
this
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, mostly the youth will not be just loitering around rather, they will be busy in their respective
work stations
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workstations
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.
In addition
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, they will be able to put something on the table.
For instance
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, my uncle has really improved ever since he was employed as a clerk in the industry at Samburu for the past five years.
Therefore
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, the more
the
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apply
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industries, the more space will be created for people to work.
Secondly
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, the economy will stabilise and the price of
commondities
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commodities
will be affordable to everyone. To explain
this
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, the industry will manufacture more products and when exported, more revenue will be collected
thus
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enabling the
cost
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of living to lower.
Further
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, most of the end products of
oil
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and
gas
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will be used locally so people will purchase it at a very low
cost
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.
For example
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, employees in the
gas
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and
oil
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manufacturing company in Changamwe, Kenya, since 1980 to date get free fuel and their gases are refilled at zero
cost
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making life easier for them.
Therefore
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, the more areas for
oil
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and
gas
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, the cheaper the bills incurred. To summarise,
i
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I
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agree that
addition
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the addition
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of many areas to manufacture
gas
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and
oil
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will have
great
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a great
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impact on job opportunities and
lowering
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lower
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the
cost
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of living.
Submitted by janenjeru6 on

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task achievement
The essay could benefit from a more explicit introduction to clearly state the writer's position on whether undiscovered areas should be opened up to access more oil and gas resources. Starting with an introductory paragraph would help give a better structure.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph is linked seamlessly to the next for better flow. Using transitional words and phrases can help in achieving this.
task achievement
Adding a few counterarguments or addressing potential drawbacks of opening new areas for oil and gas exploration can add depth and complexity to the essay, thus strengthening the task response.
coherence cohesion
While the conclusion is present, it can be expanded and more clearly echo the essay's main arguments. A restatement of key points and a final thought would make it more impactful.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant and specific examples to support the main points, like the employment scenario at Samburu and Changamwe.
coherence cohesion
Main points are well supported, demonstrating an understanding of how increased drilling can benefit both employment rates and cost of living.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global demand
  • finite resources
  • energy consumption
  • exploiting
  • untouched ecosystems
  • carbon emissions
  • climate change
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable energy solutions
  • geopolitical consequences
  • territorial disputes
  • dependency
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