Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is a common belief among many
people
that commercials are very important for the sale of a product. Conversely
, others believe that it has lost it’s
appeal Replace the word
its
due to
overuse. I think, though traditional advertisement
has lost it’s
edge to some degree, Replace the word
its
new
form of marketing has taken Add an article
a new
it’s
place.
Replace the word
its
This
is the age of internet
, the age of connectivity. Add an article
the internet
People
do not watch televisions
any more, they consume their news and Fix the agreement mistake
television
entertainments
from Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
Tweeter
, Facebook and YouTube. Correct your spelling
Twitter
As a result
, traditional advertisement
is ineffective now. However
, commercials in
the internet, Change preposition
on
specially
influencer marketing, have gained traction. A brand deal with a celebrity who has huge followers can be very profitable for a company, even more profitable than traditional advertising. Replace the word
especially
Such
an example is the partnership of Nike with Lionel Messi to launch a new shoe back in 2015, which attracted so many people
, that the inventory sold out before even launching, due to
preorder
.
Fix the agreement mistake
preorders
On the other hand
, advertisement
overall
has less
effects on Change the quantifier
fewer
people
. Previously, people
used to take
their purchasing Correct your spelling
make
decision
based on the commercial. They gathered information by listening to it carefully Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
in
the Change preposition
on
telivisions
and read it Correct your spelling
televisions
television
throughly
in the newspaper to learn about the pros and cons of a product. Correct your spelling
thoroughly
However
, with time companies flooded general
public with so much Add an article
the general
advertisement
that it’s
effect has dulled. The fact thatReplace the word
its
,
these companies overpromised and Remove the comma
apply
sometime
downright lied, Replace the word
sometimes
didnot
help either. Correct your spelling
did not
For example
, BOSE advertised there
MT05 speaker as a revolutionary sound system. Correct your spelling
their
But
consumers who bought experienced frequent sound issues and failures.
Correct word choice
However
To conclude
, traditional marketing has lost it’s
place. But Replace the word
its
new
form of Add an article
a new
advertisement
is still effective if it is executed properly.Submitted by mostakahmedfaysal on
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task achievement
The essay satisfactorily addresses both sides of the argument and provides the writer’s own opinion, making it a complete response. However, further elaboration on both views and more balanced discussion would improve the essay.
task achievement
While the main points are clear, providing more detailed and varied examples would increase the comprehensiveness of the ideas presented.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Nevertheless, the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance flow.
coherence cohesion
Using linking words and phrases more effectively will improve the cohesion of the essay, allowing ideas to connect more seamlessly. For example, words like “Furthermore,” “Additionally,” or “On the contrary” can be useful in making the essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the examples provided are directly relevant to the main points and explain their significance clearly to strengthen the supporting arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure for the reader.
task achievement
Providing specific examples such as the Nike partnership with Lionel Messi effectively illustrates your points.