Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #attention

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It is a common belief among many

people

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that commercials are very important for the sale of a product.

Conversely

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, others believe that it has lost

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it’s

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its

show examples

appeal

due to

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overuse. I think, though traditional

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has lost

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it’s

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its

show examples

edge to some degree,

new

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a new

show examples

form of marketing has taken

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it’s

Replace the word

its

show examples

place.

This

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is the age of

internet

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the internet

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, the age of connectivity.

People

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do not watch

televisions

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television

show examples

any more, they consume their news and

entertainments

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entertainment

show examples

from

Tweeter

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Twitter

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, Facebook and YouTube.

As a result

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, traditional

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is ineffective now.

However

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, commercials

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show examples

the internet,

specially

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especially

show examples

influencer marketing, have gained traction. A brand deal with a celebrity who has huge followers can be very profitable for a company, even more profitable than traditional advertising.

Such

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an example is the partnership of Nike with Lionel Messi to launch a new shoe back in 2015, which attracted so many

people

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, that the inventory sold out before even launching,

due to

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preorder

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preorders

show examples

On the other hand

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overall

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has

less

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fewer

show examples

effects on

people

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. Previously,

people

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used to

take

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make

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their purchasing

decision

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decisions

show examples

based on the commercial. They gathered information by listening to it carefully

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show examples

the

telivisions

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televisions

television

and read it

throughly

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thoroughly

in the newspaper to learn about the pros and cons of a product.

However

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, with time companies flooded

general

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the general

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public with so much

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that

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it’s

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its

show examples

effect has dulled. The fact that

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apply

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these companies overpromised and

sometime

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sometimes

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downright lied,

didnot

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did not

help either.

For example

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, BOSE advertised

there

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their

show examples

MT05 speaker as a revolutionary sound system.

But

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However

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consumers who bought experienced frequent sound issues and failures.

To conclude

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, traditional marketing has lost

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it’s

Replace the word

its

show examples

place. But

new

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a new

show examples

form of

Use synonyms

is still effective if it is executed properly.

Submitted by mostakahmedfaysal on Sun Jun 09 2024

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task achievement

The essay satisfactorily addresses both sides of the argument and provides the writer’s own opinion, making it a complete response. However, further elaboration on both views and more balanced discussion would improve the essay.

task achievement

While the main points are clear, providing more detailed and varied examples would increase the comprehensiveness of the ideas presented.

coherence cohesion

The essay demonstrates a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Nevertheless, the transitions between paragraphs could be smoother to enhance flow.

coherence cohesion

Using linking words and phrases more effectively will improve the cohesion of the essay, allowing ideas to connect more seamlessly. For example, words like “Furthermore,” “Additionally,” or “On the contrary” can be useful in making the essay more cohesive.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the examples provided are directly relevant to the main points and explain their significance clearly to strengthen the supporting arguments.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a good structure for the reader.

task achievement

Providing specific examples such as the Nike partnership with Lionel Messi effectively illustrates your points.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

persuade
promote
attract
influence
impact
consumerism
commercialism
market
product
brand
endorsement
manipulative
saturated
overwhelmed
repetitive
distracting
irrelevant
exaggerated
misleading
desensitized

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