IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

in recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measures should be taken to combat this issue?

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Introduction
Recently, In sports, the consumption of performance-enhancing
drugs
Use synonyms
 has been increased. There are several consequences of taking these
drugs
Use synonyms
,
therefore
Linking Words
, strict preventive measures are required. The essay will discuss these issues in detail.
Body paragraph 1
Taking performance-enhancing
drugs
Use synonyms
 has various effects on the sportspersons. These medicines can significantly impact on the health.
As a result
Linking Words
, the body may be weaker and directly damage the brain. It has been observed that these types of medicines are developed in order to boost the brain hormones and the enzyme released gives momentary force and energy to the body to increase efficiency and powerful performance.
For instance
Linking Words
, as per a recent survey, athletes found that by consuming
such
Linking Words
 pills, their brains were impacted badly and found 1st stage of cancer.
Body paragraph 2
In order to avoid the use of performance-enhancing pills, some actions are required.
Firstly
Linking Words
, these types of
drugs
Use synonyms
 are required to be banned and for those who are found to sell, a strict punishment is to be decided.
Secondly
Linking Words
, The government to prepare policies and procedures to shut down the companies who involve directly or indirectly in
such
Linking Words
 a business model.
Thirdly
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, The compulsory doping test is to be conducted for all athletes and those found guilty to be banned for a lifetime.
Finally
Linking Words
, more awareness and training sessions are required for players to understand the negative impact of stimulants.
For example
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, many countries nowadays, provide compulsory training to athletes yearly to combat
such
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 issues.
Conclusion
In conclusion, consuming performance-enhancing medicines has raised an alarm in recent times and since it has negative effects, the necessary actions are required to control it.

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task achievement
The essay provides a reasonably complete response to the task by discussing the consequences of doping and suggesting measures to combat it. However, you can enhance the response by incorporating more details and a broader range of consequences and measures.
task achievement
The ideas presented are generally clear, but there are instances where sentences could be more effectively structured for increased clarity. Focus on making complex ideas more precise.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples, such as the survey indicating brain damage. However, strive to include more diverse and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is generally clear, but there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be smoother. Working on the logical connection between sentences and paragraphs can help improve the overall structure.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, ensure that the introduction clearly outlines the main points that will be discussed and that the conclusion succinctly summarizes these points.
coherence cohesion
Your main points are supported, but try to ensure that each point is thoroughly explained and backed by strong evidence or examples. This will make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your points effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed both parts of the task, discussing the consequences of doping and suggesting measures to combat it.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs)
  • Doping
  • Anabolic steroids
  • Health ramifications
  • Stigmatization
  • Disqualification
  • Anti-doping agencies
  • Therapeutic Use Exemptions (TUEs)
  • Integrity of sports
  • Biological passport
  • In-competition testing
  • Out-of-competition testing
  • Whistleblower
  • Ban substances
  • Suspension
  • World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA)
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