Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Arguments
appeers
among people that Correct your spelling
appears
appear
phones
are not allowed to used
by Add a missing verb
be used
children
during school
days
but other believes on
the opposite. Change preposition
apply
Phones
in school
day can distract children
from study
, but Wrong verb form
studying
in
the other hand, Change preposition
on
phones
can be helpfull
for them to Correct your spelling
helpful
study
with many advance
features. I believe the Replace the word
advanced
use
of phones
by children
in school
days
should be ok as long as there is a parents
control
The idea of prohibiting Replace the word
parental
children
using
Change preposition
from using
phones
in schools
Change the noun form
school
days
because
it can distract them Add a missing verb
is because
to
Change preposition
from studying
study
or do
their homework. It has been a concern by people that Wrong verb form
doing
an
excessive usage of Remove the article
apply
phone
by Fix the agreement mistake
phones
young
generation can be Correct article usage
the young
harmfull
. It is Correct your spelling
harmful
an
evidence that Correct article usage
apply
game
and social media Fix the agreement mistake
games
for instance
, which featured
Add a missing verb
are featured
by
Change preposition
on
phones
, can influence children
to an
excessive Correct article usage
apply
phones
usage and Change the noun form
phone
leads
them to neglect the value of Correct subject-verb agreement
lead
study
.
Wrong verb form
studying
On the other hand
, the use
of phones
can be helpfull
to Correct your spelling
helpful
study
by children
with features in it. The access to the internet and some applications in current phones
with high technology is considered helpfull
for Correct your spelling
helpful
children
to study
. For example
, children
can access any source of information required with the
internet Correct article usage
an
connections
and there are a lot of applications available that can help Fix the agreement mistake
connection
children
to
Verb problem
apply
study
such
as Ruang
Guru application which Correct article usage
the Ruang
consist
of learning material which accessible Change the verb form
consists
easly
or even Correct your spelling
easily
translation
application.
I believe that the Correct article usage
an translation
use
of phones
can be a good development for children
to help them study
during school
days
with parental supervision. Parent
should control Add an article
A parent
The parent
on
the Change preposition
apply
use
of phones
by their children
, in terms of purpose limitation and time limitations. Children
should be advised and supervised that phone
can be used during Fix the agreement mistake
phones
school
days
only for study
purpose
and limit them Fix the agreement mistake
purposes
into
Change preposition
to
particular
time to prevent them from excessive Correct article usage
a particular
use
.
In conclusion, the debate wheter
Correct your spelling
whether
children
should be allowed to use
phones
during school
days
or not are
still apperead in society. But Change the verb form
is
i
personally believe with parental supervision, the Change the capitalization
I
use
of phones
can be an advantages
to help Correct the article-noun agreement
an advantage
advantages
children
to study
.Submitted by muhammad.alfarasyi on
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task achievement
Work on expanding your ideas with greater depth and specificity. This will enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your response.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical progression of your arguments with more detailed explanations and better transitions between ideas.
general
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors. These can sometimes distract from the overall quality and coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion provide a clear roadmap of your essay and summarize the main points effectively.
task achievement
You address both views regarding the use of phones by children during school days and provide your own opinion, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.