In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message

Some people claim that encouraging

children

to work hard to reach their

goals

is a must in

this

modern-day,

while

others have a different view on that. The following essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of

this

point.

Firstly

, one of the advantages is that people believe that giving

this

message to

children

can gain their confidence.

Children

need a lot of positive support at their age. Giving mental support can let them know that they have the ability to accomplish their

goals

and can motivate them to stay consistent in their work.

Moreover

children

can

also

have a chance to learn new skills if they are encouraged.

However

, there are

also

some shortcomings. For one, it may force

children

to have unrealistic

goals

, they will get disappointed and exhausted after putting in their best effort but still can not see any progress.

This

will strike their confidence, even leading to afraid of trying new things in the future.

In addition

children

may

also

have a thought of adults

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

lying to them

due to

the unrealistic encouragement,

consequently

, they will not easily trust people when they grow up. In conclusion,

although

there are lots of positive effects of giving

this

encouragement to

children

, some negative reactions may

also

occur. I think it is important to give moderate support, guiding

children

to set up their

goals

while

simultaneously telling them about the possibility of failure to afford them seeing success as a guarantee.

Submitted by sharon999ng on Sun Jun 09 2024

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task achievement

Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, provide situations or studies where encouraging children led to confidence building or where unrealistic goals caused disappointment.

task achievement

Work on elaborating your ideas more clearly. Some ideas remain too general and could benefit from further explanation and relevant illustrations.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This will make your essay more coherent and easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

Structure your arguments logically; this requires that each paragraph contains a main idea that is well-developed and supported.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument effectively.

task achievement

You addressed both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

244 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Fully explain your ideas

There are debates about importantness of history in providing information abou

Some people think that sports involving violence, such as boxing and martial arts, should be banned from TV as well as from international sporting competitions. To what extent do you agree?h

Some people think that children should be home schooled when they are very young while others think it is better for them to attend a kindergarten. Which do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.