In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Some people claim that encouraging

children

Use synonyms

to work hard to reach their

goals

Use synonyms

is a must in

this

Linking Words

modern-day,

while

Linking Words

others have a different view on that. The following essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of

this

Linking Words

point.

Firstly

Linking Words

, one of the advantages is that people believe that giving

this

Linking Words

message to

children

Use synonyms

can gain their confidence.

Children

Use synonyms

need a lot of positive support at their age. Giving mental support can let them know that they have the ability to accomplish their

goals

Use synonyms

and can motivate them to stay consistent in their work.

Moreover

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

can

also

Linking Words

have a chance to learn new skills if they are encouraged.

However

Linking Words

, there are

also

Linking Words

some shortcomings. For one, it may force

children

Use synonyms

to have unrealistic

goals

Use synonyms

, they will get disappointed and exhausted after putting in their best effort but still can not see any progress.

This

Linking Words

will strike their confidence, even leading to afraid of trying new things in the future.

In addition

Linking Words

children

Use synonyms

may

also

Linking Words

have a thought of adults

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

lying to them

due to

Linking Words

the unrealistic encouragement,

consequently

Linking Words

, they will not easily trust people when they grow up. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

there are lots of positive effects of giving

this

Linking Words

encouragement to

children

Use synonyms

, some negative reactions may

also

Linking Words

occur. I think it is important to give moderate support, guiding

children

Use synonyms

to set up their

goals

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

simultaneously telling them about the possibility of failure to afford them seeing success as a guarantee.

Submitted by sharon999ng on Sun Jun 09 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, provide situations or studies where encouraging children led to confidence building or where unrealistic goals caused disappointment.

task achievement

Work on elaborating your ideas more clearly. Some ideas remain too general and could benefit from further explanation and relevant illustrations.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This will make your essay more coherent and easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

Structure your arguments logically; this requires that each paragraph contains a main idea that is well-developed and supported.

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a well-defined introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument effectively.

task achievement

You addressed both advantages and disadvantages of the topic, showing a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

244 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

achieve
try hard
positive mindset
self-belief
motivates
ambitious goals
resilience
determination
confidence
self-esteem
growth mindset
unrealistic expectations
disappointment
failure
effort
hard work
seek support
individual differences
abilities
capabilities

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
In a public-funded health care system people who are willing to pay for the best and fastest treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.
Some argue that the individual who could afford to pay money can enjoy faster and better treatment in a public-funded medical sector. But, I completely disagree with the statement as this would create disadvantageous situation for low- income families. Additionally, it will also widen the gap between the rich and poor due to the dicrimination in the health sector.
6.5
band
Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.
Parents throughout the world place spend time reading with their offspring to prepare them for school where their literacy skills are further developed; however, recent research suggests that focusing on reading at an early age can be detrimental, and participating in fun activities would be far more beneficial. I am a strong advocate of this approach, and the benefits of it will be covered in this essay.
8
band
It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent to you agree or disagree?
Many people have valued the role of local history in schoolchildren over that of world history. In my opinion, I disagree with those people as both of them are equally essential for young learners.
5
band
You are renting a flat from an agency. Your contract was for one year but you need to leave the flat two months early.
I am writing this letter regarding my flat contract.
7.5
band
Some people believe that entertainment such as film star pop musicians or sports star are paid to much money Do you agree or disagree? Which other type of jobs should be highly paid.?
In this essay, I want to give my opinions about the people who work in the entertainment sector such as pop musicians, film actors or footballers who are paid a lot of money. Moreover, I will determine which other types of jobs should be highly paid.

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Fully explain your ideas

In a public-funded health care system people who are willing to pay for the best and fastest treatment should be able to do so. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent to you agree or disagree?

You are renting a flat from an agency. Your contract was for one year but you need to leave the flat two months early.

Some people believe that entertainment such as film star pop musicians or sports star are paid to much money Do you agree or disagree? Which other type of jobs should be highly paid.?