Being a celebrity-such as a famous film star and sport personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

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Nowadays, there is a huge consensus that popular and

well known

Add a hyphen

well-known

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people

Use synonyms

recieve

Correct your spelling

receive

the greatest attention from all the viewers.

Thus

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, it

had

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has

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been argued whether

advantages

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the advantages

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outweigh the disadvantages of being known to most

people

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Therefore

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this

Linking Words

forthcoming essay will discuss why I strongly believe that the drawbacks and negativities of being a

celebrity

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are more than the

positivities

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positives

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. On the one hand, some

people

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are blinded by the

income

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, luxury lifestyle and fame associated with being a star.

In other words

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, they fail to recognize that behind all

this

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beautiful view is an ugly world,

particulary

Correct your spelling

particularly

a facade in

it's

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its

show examples

essence.

For instance

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, young

people

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who delve into

this

Linking Words

world of fame

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apply

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may become haunted by their own mistakes their whole life, as

people

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will endlessly gossip about the wrongdoings they have done.

Moreover

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, if any normal person

comitted

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committed

same

Correct article usage

the same

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crimes done by a

celebrity

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, they will not be treated the same by

general

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the general

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population.

Furthermore

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, overcoming past mistakes for a

celebrity

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can be challenging.

For example

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, if a

celebrity

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tried

Wrong verb form

tries

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to focus on the present, he or she will constantly be reminded of their past as the media will go on and on about it.

In addition

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, even if they tried to escape their scandal by going to a therapist to use cognitive

behavioral

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behavioural

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therapy methods, many

people

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will shame them

due to

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lack

Correct article usage

a lack

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of awareness.

On the other hand

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, there are many benefits of being a

celebrity

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including appreciation,

acknowledgments

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acknowledgements

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for hard work,

being

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and being

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respected and treated in a special way.

However

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, one of the primary pros of being famous is the revenue. There is no doubt that most of the

income

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recieved

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received

by celebrities exceeds all

income

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gained by other specialities. Despite striving workers of different

feilds

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fields

, being famous has the potential

of providing

Change preposition

to provide

show examples

them with more

income

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than their regular jobs.

For instance

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, a footballer

recieves

Correct your spelling

receives

more than a physician, even if physicians work extra hours and attend all hospital shifts, they still won't be able to make what a football player can make in a year.

Also

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, the economic status of a

celebrity

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is increased by the number of views, and as the level of popularity increases more money will be made. In conclusion, the drawbacks of being famous are considered more than the benefits. I am of the opinion that failures, mistakes and crimes will follow celebrities for the rest of their lives. Unless the priority of the person does not lie merely on the financial part, being popular is a cause of distress and adversity.

Hence

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, celebrities can not escape their past and focus on

here

Correct article usage

the here

show examples

and now.

alamer_maSun Jun 09 2024

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task response

You could enhance the task response by providing a bit more balanced discussion, giving equal weight to both the benefits and problems of being a celebrity.

coherence cohesion

To improve the coherence and cohesion, you might want to break down some of your longer sentences into shorter, clearer ones, and make sure each paragraph sticks closely to one main idea.

task response

Examples given are good, but providing a wider variety of specific examples (e.g., from more aspects of being a celebrity) would make the argument more compelling.

task response

Ensure all points you make are backed up by clear and specific examples; this will help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction clearly states the problem and your opinion on the topic, which is very good for laying the groundwork for your essay.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion, which helps to reinforce your position.

task response

You provided specific examples to support your points, such as the comparison between the earnings of a footballer and a physician.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

6.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

6.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

437 words

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Being a celebrity-such as a famous film star and sport personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

Word Count

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Nowadays many ppl choose to be self-employed, rather than work for a company. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Nowadays,many people choose to be self-employed,rather than to work for a company or organisation.why might this be the case?what could be the disadvantage of being self-employed?

Some people think that poverty is the reason for most crimes. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think educated people more valuable than people who learned skills through experience Do you think educated people are more valuable for society? What kind of skill can people learn through experience that can benefit society?