Being a celebrity-such as a famous film star and sport personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?

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Nowadays, there is a huge consensus that popular and
well known
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well-known
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people
،
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
the greatest attention from all the viewers.
Thus
, it
had
Wrong verb form
has
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been argued whether
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
outweigh the disadvantages of being known to most
people
Therefore
,
this
forthcoming essay will discuss why I strongly believe that the drawbacks and negativities of being a
celebrity
are more than the
positivities
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positives
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. On the one hand, some
people
are blinded by the
income
, luxury lifestyle and fame associated with being a star.
In other words
, they fail to recognize that behind all
this
beautiful view is an ugly world,
particulary
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particularly
a facade in
it's
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its
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essence.
For instance
, young
people
who delve into
this
world of fame
,
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apply
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may become haunted by their own mistakes their whole life, as
people
will endlessly gossip about the wrongdoings they have done.
Moreover
, if any normal person
comitted
Correct your spelling
committed
same
Correct article usage
the same
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crimes done by a
celebrity
, they will not be treated the same by
general
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the general
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population.
Furthermore
, overcoming past mistakes for a
celebrity
can be challenging.
For example
, if a
celebrity
tried
Wrong verb form
tries
show examples
to focus on the present, he or she will constantly be reminded of their past as the media will go on and on about it.
In addition
, even if they tried to escape their scandal by going to a therapist to use cognitive
behavioral
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behavioural
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therapy methods, many
people
will shame them
due to
lack
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a lack
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of awareness.
On the other hand
, there are many benefits of being a
celebrity
including appreciation,
acknowledgments
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acknowledgements
show examples
for hard work,
being
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and being
show examples
respected and treated in a special way.
However
, one of the primary pros of being famous is the revenue. There is no doubt that most of the
income
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
by celebrities exceeds all
income
gained by other specialities. Despite striving workers of different
feilds
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fields
, being famous has the potential
of providing
Change preposition
to provide
show examples
them with more
income
than their regular jobs.
For instance
, a footballer
recieves
Correct your spelling
receives
more than a physician, even if physicians work extra hours and attend all hospital shifts, they still won't be able to make what a football player can make in a year.
Also
, the economic status of a
celebrity
is increased by the number of views, and as the level of popularity increases more money will be made. In conclusion, the drawbacks of being famous are considered more than the benefits. I am of the opinion that failures, mistakes and crimes will follow celebrities for the rest of their lives. Unless the priority of the person does not lie merely on the financial part, being popular is a cause of distress and adversity.
Hence
, celebrities can not escape their past and focus on
here
Correct article usage
the here
show examples
and now.
Submitted by alamer_ma on

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task response
You could enhance the task response by providing a bit more balanced discussion, giving equal weight to both the benefits and problems of being a celebrity.
coherence cohesion
To improve the coherence and cohesion, you might want to break down some of your longer sentences into shorter, clearer ones, and make sure each paragraph sticks closely to one main idea.
task response
Examples given are good, but providing a wider variety of specific examples (e.g., from more aspects of being a celebrity) would make the argument more compelling.
task response
Ensure all points you make are backed up by clear and specific examples; this will help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction clearly states the problem and your opinion on the topic, which is very good for laying the groundwork for your essay.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion, which helps to reinforce your position.
task response
You provided specific examples to support your points, such as the comparison between the earnings of a footballer and a physician.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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