IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You recently moved to a new house and you want to invite an old friend to stay with you. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter: -Invite him to stay and suggest a date. -Describe the new house and garden. -Say why you like your house.

#house #friend #-invite #date #-describe #garden #-say
Dear Thomas, I hope
this
 email finds you in radiant health and you are doing well. I am writing
this
 email to invite
to
Correct pronoun usage
you to
show examples
 my new
house
 where I moved with my full family members
last
 month. As we have not been meeting for a long day, I would like to invite you to
this
 new
house
 including your family members dated on the 7th of March.
Besides
, I have been planning to arrange a small celebration party with my friends and relatives on the same date. I hope
this
 date will be suitable for you as your office is closed on that day.
Furthermore
, I bought
this
 quaint
house
 from a real estate company named "Rankon Properties" which is 4500 square feet
has
Correct word choice
and has
show examples
 four bedrooms with an attached bathroom, living
room
, drawing
room
 and kitchen
room
. On top of that, there is a large garden in the backyard lawn where various types of
flower
Fix the agreement mistake
flowers
show examples
 have been planted.
Moreover
, I am really over the moon as
this
house
 is very much spacious
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
 the master bedroom.
In addition
 to that, the surrounding environment is soothing and sunlight can easily reflect in the living
room
 and drawing
room
 which plays a significant role in saving the
overall
 utility costs. I hope you will accept
this
 invitation and will make the evening enjoyable and memorable. Yours lovingly, Robert
Submitted by faisalmahamood on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Your letter achieves its purpose quite well but could be improved by ensuring that you address all parts of the task with equal clarity and detail. For instance, while you invite your friend and suggest a date, and describe your new house admirably, a little more about why you enjoy your house beyond the space and light could add depth to your response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your letter's structure is clear, and you make good use of paragraphs, each dedicated to a different aspect. However, smoothly transitioning between paragraphs, perhaps by using linking words or phrases ('Furthermore', 'Moreover'), could enhance the flow of your writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
While the overall greeting and closing are well-done, remember to maintain a consistent and appropriate tone throughout. Though the tone is generally suitable, some phrases may come across as too formal or technical (e.g., 'radiant health', '4500 square feet'). A slightly more casual tone may better suit the context of writing to an old friend.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: