Many produced food and beverage products include high amount of sugar which leads to many health issues. Increasing prices of products with high sugar level to prevent people to consume more sugar. From my perspective, I strongly agree with this statement.
Many produced
food
and beverage products
include high amount
of Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
sugar
which leads to many health issues. Increasing prices of products
with high sugar
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
to prevent
Change the verb form
prevents
people
to consume
more Change preposition
from consuming
sugar
. From my perspective, I strongly agree with this
statement.
Many people
believe that eating sugar
has several benefits to their bodies so they tend to consume more sugar
nourishment. One of the main upsides is that people
can absorb a huge sources
of energy from Correct the article-noun agreement
huge sources
a huge source
sugar
. Additionally
, sugar
is not only a factor supplies
energy but Correct pronoun usage
that supplies
also
keeps a person
mind Change noun form
person's
being
conscious during working time. Unnecessary verb
apply
According to
some researches
, Fix the agreement mistake
research
sugar
contains the most abundant energy than other ingredient
.
Change the wording
another ingredient
other ingredients
On the other hand
, consuming a large amount of sugar
also
has many disadvantages, and this
is the reason why sugary products
should be charged more to decrease the number of consumers. One of the major downsides is that sugary products
can leads
to Change the verb form
lead
higher
probability Correct article usage
a higher
to get
diabetes especially Change preposition
of getting
elderly
. Correct article usage
the elderly
For instance
, the elderly with diabetes will have a weak immune system and they will not able
to recover from severe illness. Add a missing verb
be able
Furthermore
, children eat
much Verb problem
eating too
sugar
can lead to obesity which may make children have difficulty in
doing daily activities and in some Change preposition
apply
case
it might affect Fix the agreement mistake
cases
to
Change preposition
apply
children
Change noun form
children's
behaviors
. Change the spelling
behaviours
Instead
of making sugary products
be
more expensive, Unnecessary verb
apply
food
and beverage companies can create and improve a
new Correct article usage
apply
sugar- free
recipes, Correct your spelling
sugar-free
so
Correct word choice
apply
this
may help them not lose Correct pronoun usage
which
the
consumers.
In conclusion, making Correct article usage
apply
the
sugary Correct article usage
apply
products
be
more expensive is not the only way to avoid Unnecessary verb
apply
people
consuming so much sugar
, produced companies can find out
another plan to decrease the amount of Change preposition
apply
sugar
in their products
. This
not only help
Change the verb form
helps
people
try every food
they want but also
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
incomes
of Correct article usage
the incomes
food
and drink companies not decrease.Submitted by weezel on
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task achievement
Strengthen your examples and explanations. Using more specific examples will make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure to avoid awkward phrasing and to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between paragraphs to ensure smooth transitions between different points.
task achievement
You provide a clear position on the topic and maintain it throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing your argument effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?