Now a lot of people in colleges are doing academic studies. We should encourage them to learn vocational skills (like plumbing). Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays learning vocational skills is most necessary for everyone who is living in a home and
have
some responsibility. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
Although
the living situation is going toward being more comfortable, some easy skills are crucial to learning.
First of all, we might encounter various unexpected issues in our daily life and sometimes resources are not available or are costly. Furthermore
having the ability to fix some simple issues which everybody has had at least a few times in his/her life can be a time-saving. For example
, if you are capable of doing electricity things, you don't have to pay an electrician and wait for them to come and resolve your problem.
Secondly
, in case of losing a job
due to
the company's layout or getting fired, you can count on these talents as a job
, make money, and survive until finding a new job
or even doing that as a second job
. We are all encountered with.
But certainly, we should not forget that every field has its knowledge and we need to learn how to precisely perform to prevent injuries that might happen in a moment and the results would be irreparable.
The upshot of all is, learning
side-jobes can be so beneficial for every person if Correct determiner usage
that learning
to be
performed Verb problem
apply
by
caution even for expert people. We must put effort toward being Change preposition
with
Add an article
a skillful
the skillful
skillful
person in our life .Change the spelling
skilful
Submitted by mohammadmafi6809 on
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Introduction
Your introduction outlines the topic but lacks a clear thesis statement that gives a preview of your position or the main points you will discuss. Clarifying your stance earlier in the introduction can make your essay more coherent and focused.
Task Achievement
Some of your points could benefit from further development. For instance, you mention job loss but don't fully explain the context or provide detailed examples. Adding more specific examples would strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be sure to make the relationships between your main points clearer. Transitions like 'In addition,' 'Moreover,' and 'On the other hand' can help clarify how one point leads to or contrasts with another.
Language and Grammar
Be cautious about grammar and punctuation errors. For example, phrases like 'we are all encountered with' could be more clearly stated as 'we all encounter.' However, small inaccuracies shouldn't detract from your overall score.
Conclusion
The conclusion should summarize the main points and restate the thesis in a new way. Currently, it feels a bit abrupt and could do with more linking back to your main arguments.
Content
Your essay presents multiple valid points on the usefulness of vocational skills, particularly the practical example of saving time and money by fixing issues yourself.
Structure
You have a clear structure to your essay, with separate paragraphs for different points.
Language
You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary and attempt some complex sentence structures.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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