Some people say that it is necessary to possess talent to become a successful sportsperson. Others, however, believe that hard work and practice are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Although
,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
argued that being a sportsperson takes a lot of time and effort
due to
the hard work. I agree that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
an important talent a person must have because of its huge
advanatages
Correct your spelling
advantages
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
individuals. All the well-known
sports men
Correct your spelling
sportsmen
show examples
and women spent 30 years of their lives
trainig
Correct your spelling
training
trying
very hard, eating healthy,
sleeping
Correct word choice
and sleeping
show examples
well.
This
is to say that being a
commitment
Replace the word
committed
show examples
person to a strict healthy
lifestyile requiers
Correct your spelling
lifestyle requires
a higher level of
motiviation
Correct your spelling
motivation
and strength in order to follow it. Many
people
find following a healthy diet and going to the gym is quite difficult
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
them, and the main reason for
that is
society members are not being aware enough of
sport
hoppies importance and impact on them.
For example
, a recent study aimed to increase the awareness of
sports
among members shows that only 55% of local
people
possess a
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
talent.
People
who have a daily workout
such
as
boxig
Correct your spelling
boxing
, lifting
wights
Correct your spelling
weights
show examples
, basketball, and football
enjoys
Correct subject-verb agreement
enjoy
show examples
a lot
o
Change preposition
of
show examples
positive impact on their lives.
In addition
to that, they will have a lower chance
to get
Change preposition
of getting
show examples
heart
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
show examples
so simply they will live longer than others.
As well as
Rephrase
Also
show examples
, possessing a
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
hoppy
Correct your spelling
hobby
show examples
is linked
dierctly
Correct your spelling
directly
to mental health,
In other words
, a sportsperson is able to
protects
Change the verb
protect
show examples
him\her self
Correct your spelling
himself/herself
from mental issues
such
as
depreission
Correct your spelling
depression
,
Correct word choice
and anxeity
show examples
anxeity
Correct your spelling
anxiety
by only
excssersing
Correct your spelling
exercising
in
regular
Change the article
a regular
show examples
manner.
Therefore
, I agree that
sports
should be part of
everyone
Change noun form
everyone's
show examples
lives.
To conclude
, many
people
believe that being a
sports
lover is not easy because they are not considering its value. I believe that
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
skills are a must
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
great benefits
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
members.
Submitted by noufxmut on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly introduces both views you will discuss. Try starting with a general statement about the topic before presenting the specific views.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving grammatical accuracy, such as correct use of tenses, articles, and punctuation.
coherence cohesion
Vary your sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and easier to follow.
task achievement
Provide a clear and balanced discussion of both views. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
task achievement
You did well to include examples and points that support your perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a conclusion that summarizes your main argument.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural talent
  • competitive advantage
  • innate ability
  • intuitive understanding
  • perform under pressure
  • early recognition
  • enhance skills
  • hone skills
  • rigorous training
  • dedication
  • perseverance
  • strong work ethic
  • relentless effort
  • consistent practice
  • long-term success
  • continuous improvement
  • resilience
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