Some people say that it is necessary to possess talent to become a successful sportsperson. Others, however, believe that hard work and practice are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Although
,
its
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it's
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argued that being a sportsperson takes a lot of time and effort
due to
the hard work. I agree that
its
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it's
it is
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an important talent a person must have because of its huge
advanatages
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advantages
on
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for
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individuals. All the well-known
sports men
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sportsmen
show examples
and women spent 30 years of their lives
trainig
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training
trying
very hard, eating healthy,
sleeping
Correct word choice
and sleeping
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well.
This
is to say that being a
commitment
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committed
show examples
person to a strict healthy
lifestyile requiers
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lifestyle requires
a higher level of
motiviation
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motivation
and strength in order to follow it. Many
people
find following a healthy diet and going to the gym is quite difficult
to
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for
show examples
them, and the main reason for
that is
society members are not being aware enough of
sport
hoppies importance and impact on them.
For example
, a recent study aimed to increase the awareness of
sports
among members shows that only 55% of local
people
possess a
sport
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sports
show examples
talent.
People
who have a daily workout
such
as
boxig
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boxing
, lifting
wights
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weights
show examples
, basketball, and football
enjoys
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enjoy
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a lot
o
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of
show examples
positive impact on their lives.
In addition
to that, they will have a lower chance
to get
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of getting
show examples
heart
diseases
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disease
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so simply they will live longer than others.
As well as
Rephrase
Also
show examples
, possessing a
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
hoppy
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hobby
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is linked
dierctly
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directly
to mental health,
In other words
, a sportsperson is able to
protects
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protect
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him\her self
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himself/herself
from mental issues
such
as
depreission
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depression
,
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and anxeity
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anxeity
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anxiety
by only
excssersing
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exercising
in
regular
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a regular
show examples
manner.
Therefore
, I agree that
sports
should be part of
everyone
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everyone's
show examples
lives.
To conclude
, many
people
believe that being a
sports
lover is not easy because they are not considering its value. I believe that
sport
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sports
show examples
skills are a must
due to
its
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their
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great benefits
on
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for
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members.
Submitted by noufxmut on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly introduces both views you will discuss. Try starting with a general statement about the topic before presenting the specific views.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving grammatical accuracy, such as correct use of tenses, articles, and punctuation.
coherence cohesion
Vary your sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and easier to follow.
task achievement
Provide a clear and balanced discussion of both views. Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
task achievement
You did well to include examples and points that support your perspective.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a conclusion that summarizes your main argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • natural talent
  • competitive advantage
  • innate ability
  • intuitive understanding
  • perform under pressure
  • early recognition
  • enhance skills
  • hone skills
  • rigorous training
  • dedication
  • perseverance
  • strong work ethic
  • relentless effort
  • consistent practice
  • long-term success
  • continuous improvement
  • resilience
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