Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone. What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
It is said that many individuals in today's
spending
Wrong verb form
spend
large
amount of Change the article
a large
time
in
using smartphones. Change preposition
apply
Increase
in the variety and accessibility of apps and online services has made smartphones incredibly appealing. Lack of public awareness and hectic schedule are the cause of Correct article usage
The increase
this
situation. In my perspective negative effects of this
habit overides
the positives.
First and foremost, these days social media platforms have grown to become key tools for communication, networking, entertainment, and Correct your spelling
outweigh
self -expression
. Most of the Correct your spelling
self-expression
people
use
these social gadgets to keep in touch with their friends and families. Moreover
Add a comma
,
time
everyone has Add a comma
time,
hectic
schedule so in order to minimise their stress level Add an article
a hectic
people
chose
to spend Wrong verb form
choose
time
playing games and see
their favourite shows over the phone as it Verb problem
watching
provide
immediate Change the verb form
provides
satisfation
and Correct your spelling
satisfaction
it
Correct your spelling
is
consider
Wrong verb form
considered
as
accessible mode of Correct your spelling
an
time
pass.
Further
I believe that excessive Add a comma
Further,
use
of these social gadgets create
problems in our lives. Change the verb form
creates
Peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
People
lost
their self-expression to others as they Wrong verb form
lose
use
virtual communication system
all the Fix the agreement mistake
systems
time
while
talking with their loved ones. Sometime
online contact is not enough like Replace the word
Sometimes
face to face
talk. Add a hyphen
face-to-face
People
are distracted too much by using these devices and they totally depend on the
technological inventions. They do not even think the life without social platforms. Correct article usage
apply
People
waste their invaluable time
watching all of these mechanism
.
In conclusion, I believe that Change the determiner
this mechanism
these mechanisms
excess
Correct word choice
the excessive
use
of anything create
disastrous in anyone's life. No doubt with the help of media lots of Wrong verb form
can have
people
taking advantage like family members sitting in
abroad can talk Change preposition
apply
their
loved ones easily within minutes. But we should keep in mind that Change preposition
to their
limit
Wrong verb form
limiting
use
of these things Correct article usage
the use
good
for our personal relationships and Add a missing verb
is good
goo
health.Correct your spelling
good
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task achievement
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence and is well-supported with relevant details and examples. For example, you could provide specific examples of popular apps and their impact on users' time.
coherence cohesion
Review sentence structures and vocabulary use to enhance clarity and sophistication. This will help avoid minor grammatical issues and improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between ideas and sentences within each paragraph. Transition words and phrases can help make the essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and appropriately frame the essay.
task achievement
The main points are relevant and aligned with the essay prompt, addressing both the reasons and the positive/negative aspects of smartphone use.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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