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Band 7

GOVERNMENTS SHOULD FOCUS THEIR SPENDIN ON PUBLIC SERVICES RATHER THAN ON THE ARTS ( EG. MUSIC AND PAINTING). TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#governments #focus #spendin #services #arts #eg #music
IN AN EVER-PRGRESSIVE SOCIETY, SOME READERS INDICATE THAT THE PARLIAMENT DEPARTMENT SHOULD INVEST IN PUBLIC INFRASTRUCTURES
INSTEAD
 OF ARTISTIC UNITS. IN LIGHT OF
THIS
, THE AUTHOR DISAPPROVES OF THE OPINION BECAUSE ARTS SUPPLY CULTURAL DIVERSITY AND RELAXATION. IT IS VITAL TO UNDERSTAND THAT ART-RELATED EVENTS PLAY A VITAL SIGNIFICANT ROLE IN THE MAINTENANCE AND EXPANSION OF TRADITIONS.
THIS
 COULD BE EXPLAINED BY THE FACT THAT ART IS THE OPTIMAL METHOD FOR CULTURE TO BE FULLY EXPRESSED OWING TO THE DIVERSITY, FLEXIBILITY AND CREATIVITY IT OFFERS TO HUMAN SOCIETY. AS A NATURAL OUTCOME, ARTISTIC ACTIVITIES WILL BECOME A PREVALENT FOUNDATION IN TRADITIONAL PRESERVATION AND IMPROVEMENT.
THIS
 IS PERFECTLY EXEMPLIFIED BY VIETNAM WHERE THE VARIETY OF THE VIETNAMESE'S TRADITIONS LIE IN THEIR DISTINCT DANCING, SINGING OR MAYBE EVEN DRAWING. ANOTHER STANDPOINT WORTH DISCUSSING IS THAT ART INFRASTRUCTURES ARE
THE
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
HEALTHY AND VALUABLE RESOURCES FOR INHABITANTS' ENTERTAINMENT.
THIS
 IS
DUE TO
 THE FACT THAT SOME ART-BASED FACILITIES
SUCH
 AS MUSEUMS AND GALLERIES ALWAYS ATTRACT A GIGANTIC AMOUNT OF VISITORS DOMESTICALLY AND GLOBALLY.
AS A CONSEQUENCE
, THESE SERVICES MAY HELP WORKERS UNWIND STRESS AFTER WORK BY CELEBRATING EXHIBITIONS, MUSICAL FESTIVALS OR PARADES WHERE THE MAJORITY OF INVITORS ARE ENABLE TO FREE THEIR MIND.
THIS
 COULD BE COMPREHENSIVELY DEPICTED BY A SURVEY IN PARIS WHERE THE RESULT IS FINALIZED WITH OVER 80% OF DWELLERS VISITING LOURVE MUSEUM FOR MIND STRETCHING. TAKING ALL POINTS INTO ACCOUNT, IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN CLEARLY DEMONSTRATED THAT RECREATION AND TRADITION VARIETY ARE VALID POINTS WORTH CONSIDERING.
HENCE
, IT IS CLEAR WHY GOVERNMENT SHOULD PUT MORE EMPHASIS ON ART DEVELOPMENT.

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clarity
Consider simplifying your language slightly to ensure clarity. While complex vocabulary is good, it should not come at the expense of readability.
coherence
Work on improving the coherence between your points. Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next by using linking words and phrases.
lexical resource
Avoid repetition of certain phrases and words. Try to use synonyms to diversify your language and keep the reader engaged.
task achievement
The essay provides a relevant and focused response to the task prompt. Each body paragraph addresses a different aspect of the argument, which is well-organized.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
supporting main points
The use of specific examples, such as the reference to Vietnam and a survey in Paris, strengthens the argument and adds credibility.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public services
  • Infrastructure
  • Healthcare
  • Education
  • Economic growth
  • Productivity
  • Innovation
  • Cultural heritage
  • Personal enrichment
  • Universal impact
  • Economic crises
  • Natural disasters
  • Cultural identity
  • Emotional well-being
  • Societal cohesion
What to do next:
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