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Band 2

extinction of animals cause by habitat destruction and pollutants

#extinction #animals #habitat #destruction #pollutants
Nevertheless
,
this
 problem can be tackled by the
authority
Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
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 having strict laws towards industrial activities in enterprises.More specifically, the state can set a limit
in
Change preposition
on
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 the extraction of
greenland
Change the capitalization
Greenland
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 and
besides
, frequently examine the wastewater treatment in factories.
For
this
 reason, if there were any shortcomings in radically treating sewage before releasing it into the environment
coupled with
 the overuse of
exploting
Correct your spelling
exploiting
exploring
 green spaces, those must receive a monetary fine and a ban from continuing to go
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 work for a time period. Vietnamese authority is a
revelant
Correct your spelling
relevant
 example, which without informing, found some factories skipping the waste purification, afterwards,
forces
Wrong verb form
forcing
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 it to totally be closed down three years later and compensate for nearly five hundred
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
vietnam
Change the capitalization
Vietnam
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 dong for
once
Correct your spelling
one
show examples
 violation.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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introduction and conclusion
Ensure that there is a clear introduction and conclusion in your essay. These help to frame your argument and make it more impactful.
logical structure
Improve the coherence and logical flow of your arguments. Linking your ideas more seamlessly will make your essay more persuasive.
clarity and comprehension
Refine your language to make your ideas clearer and more compelling. Pay attention to sentence structure and word choice for greater impact.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic effectively and provides a complete response with specific examples.
supported main points
The main points are well-supported and your examples, like the Vietnamese authority case, are relevant and specific.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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