the chart below shows the proportion of people's total spending in a particular European country was spent on different commodities and services in 1958 and in 2008.

#proportion #people #european #country #commodities #services

The pie chart

illustrate

Change the verb form

illustrates

show examples

the percentages of

consuming

Replace the word

consumption

show examples

in six different services and commodities of European

citizen

Fix the agreement mistake

citizens

show examples

in two years. Units are measured in percentages.

Overall

, it can be seen that the consumption of food

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

the highest common in 1958

whereas

housing consumption

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

the greatest in 2008. It can

also

be observed that the spending

Change preposition

show examples

entertainment and clothing

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

decreased

while

Change preposition

show examples

luxury goods and

travel

Add a comma

travel,

show examples

transport

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

increased during the time period. Looking at luxury

good

Fix the agreement mistake

goods

show examples

, travel or transport and housing in

further

details

Fix the agreement mistake

detail

show examples

, it is evident that all the services

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

gradually increased during 2008.

Moreover

, housing accounted for about a third in 2008, which

double

Replace the word

doubles

show examples

luxury goods and travel or transport amount. Turning to the remaining statistic, the proportion of entertainment, food and clothing

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

dramatically went down between 1958 and 2008.

Furthermore

, food consumption

sighnificantly

Correct your spelling

significantly

declined from around a third to almost over 10%.

While

entertainment and clothing slightly decreased to six per cent and 16% respectively.

Submitted by [email protected] on Mon Jun 10 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.

▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

164 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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the chart below shows the proportion of people's total spending in a particular European country was spent on different commodities and services in 1958 and in 2008.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this? What can be done about this problem?

Many governments think that economics progress is there most important goal some people fieber think that other type of progress are equally important for a country discuss both views and give your opinion

Developing countries require internation organizations' help. Some people prefer financial aid while others think practical aid and advice are better

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

many people around the world use social media to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantage outweigh the disadvantage?