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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The line graph below shows the percentage of people in Africa subscribing to mobile and fixed- line phones from 1994 to 2004.

The line graph below shows the percentage of people in Africa subscribing to mobile and fixed- line phones from 1994 to 2004.
#line #percentage #people #africa #fixed- #phones
The line graph provides information
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
percentage
 of
people
live
Correct pronoun usage
who live
show examples
Africa
Change preposition
in Africa
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 to pay
amount
Add an article
the amount
an amount
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 of money
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
 mobile and fixed-line phones between 1994 and 2004.
Overall
, it can be seen that the
percentage
 of
people
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 mobile
highest
Add a missing verb
was highest
show examples
 during 2004.
Additionally
, fixed was used unpopularly
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 11 years. Beginning with mobile-line, the
percentage
 of
people
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
 it
as
Correct your spelling
was
show examples
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 about 0,06% in 1994. Following three years
people
used
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 mobile increased slowly
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 0,04%. And
then
, the
percentage
 of mobile rocketed from 1% to 8,8% for 7 years and was highest during 2004. Turning
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the fixed-line, the
percentage
 of
people
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
 fixed-line higher mobile
about
Add a missing verb
was about
show examples
 1,64% in 1994. From 1994 to 2004, the
percentage
 of
this
 increased
steadiedly
Correct your spelling
steadily
 between 1,7% and 3,1%

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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