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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The line graph below shows the percentage of people in Africa subscribing to mobile and fixed- line phones from 1994 to 2004.

The line graph below shows the percentage of people in Africa subscribing to mobile and fixed- line phones from 1994 to 2004.
#line #percentage #people #africa #fixed- #phones
The line graph provides information
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
percentage
 of
people
live
Correct pronoun usage
who live
show examples
Africa
Change preposition
in Africa
show examples
 to pay
amount
Add an article
the amount
an amount
show examples
 of money
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
 mobile and fixed-line phones between 1994 and 2004.
Overall
, it can be seen that the
percentage
 of
people
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 mobile
highest
Add a missing verb
was highest
show examples
 during 2004.
Additionally
, fixed was used unpopularly
during
Change preposition
for
show examples
 11 years. Beginning with mobile-line, the
percentage
 of
people
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
 it
as
Correct your spelling
was
show examples
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
show examples
 about 0,06% in 1994. Following three years
people
used
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 mobile increased slowly
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 0,04%. And
then
, the
percentage
 of mobile rocketed from 1% to 8,8% for 7 years and was highest during 2004. Turning
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the fixed-line, the
percentage
 of
people
used
Correct pronoun usage
who used
show examples
 fixed-line higher mobile
about
Add a missing verb
was about
show examples
 1,64% in 1994. From 1994 to 2004, the
percentage
 of
this
 increased
steadiedly
Correct your spelling
steadily
 between 1,7% and 3,1%

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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