Some scientists think it is very soon that computers will be more intelligent than humans. Some people think it is a positive development, while others think it is a negative development. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In today's world, the use of
computers
is
ever increasing
Add a hyphen
ever-increasing
show examples
.It is one of the most important things in human
life
. It
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
a common part of modern society. Scientists think that it will become smarter than
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. Some people discover that it is a positive trend, but others have a negative attitude towards
this
dependency on
computers
.
This
essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of
such
a measure. One of the main beneficial developments of
computers
is that it made
life
easier and more convenient for everybody.
For example
, it is comfortable to sit at home and do research on the internet with your
computer
. Your
computer
is open 24 hours a day, unlike a library or office.
In addition
,
computer
technology can connect workers in different countries. Workers can communicate via email, online networks, and video conferencing. It
gives
Verb problem
allows
show examples
people to save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time and money.
Computers
have automated
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
offices, education, banking,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
the advancement of treatment and crime detection
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
possible
due to
the powerful
computer
technology. These examples make it clear that it is a positive increase in human
life
.
On the other hand
,
this
development has its disadvantages. It can lead to the loss of the balance in society.
For instance
, offices will be disappearing in the future and virtual online offices may replace them.
Therefore
, people will become very lazy which is crucial to the way in which
human
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humans
show examples
develop without socialisation skills. They move toward the creation of higher unemployment. That's
way
Correct your spelling
why
show examples
there will appear two groups: humans and
computer
technologies.
To conclude
, it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
beneficial development for human
life
,
however
, it impacts badly as well. I strongly believe that there are many advantages in the way of development and we should take
advantages
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advantage
show examples
of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. We have made the
computers
and as
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
, we will control them.
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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and presents a complete response, but it could delve deeper into the arguments for both the positive and negative views. Additionally, the conclusion could be more robust and clearer in stating your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and includes well-developed supporting points and examples. Consider using topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to clearly state the main point.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument in a clear and logical manner.
task achievement
The essay includes both sides of the argument, presenting both the positive and negative aspects of developing computer intelligence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and outline the main idea of the essay.
task achievement
Examples are provided to support some points, such as the convenience of doing research at home and the ability to connect workers in different countries.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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