nowadays, more and more people from different cities are spending more time away from their families. what are the possible reasons and the effects on the people themselves and their families?

#people #cities #time #families #effects

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Nowadays, many

people

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from different

cities

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are spending most of

the

Change the word

their

show examples

time away from their

families

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This

Linking Words

writer believes that

this

Linking Words

is a positive impact

due to

Linking Words

improve

Change the verb form

improving

show examples

their

life

Use synonyms

. It is vital to understand that spending more time away from their

families

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is one of the most effective ways to their

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life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

People

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who live in rural

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

cannot easily find a

high salary

Add a hyphen

high-salary

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job.

Besides

Linking Words

, rural

area

Fix the agreement mistake

areas

show examples

has

Verb problem

show examples

not

lots

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of common

profession

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professions

show examples

than

Change preposition

show examples

big

city

Fix the agreement mistake

cities

show examples

Moreover

Linking Words

, many

cities

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have

lots

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of education systems and job opportunities for

people

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to choose them.

For instance

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, in Vietnam, many parents take their children to private

school

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schools

show examples

in the big

cities

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. It ensures

child

Correct article usage

a child

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’ development and

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

future. Another point to consider is

that

Linking Words

Correct your spelling

show examples

has a positive impact on their

life

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and their

families

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. First of all,

people

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cannot depend on their

families

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Therefore

Linking Words

, it makes

people

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become more independent.

Besides

Linking Words

, there are

lots

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of experiences for them to acquire their knowledge and their skills

such

Linking Words

as communication skills and social skills.

Moreover

Linking Words

people

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can earn

lots

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of money to support their

families

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For instance

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, many young

people

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travel abroad to experience and spread their awareness. In conclusion, it has

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

impact on their

life

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. It is a

one step

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one-step

show examples

forward to improve themselves and their family.

Besides

Linking Words

, it

modernize

Change the verb form

modernizes

show examples

the

cities

Use synonyms

and rural areas

Mon Jun 10 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your points, which will strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical connections between your paragraphs. Using transitional phrases or sentences can help make the flow of your essay more natural.

language

Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to make your writing clearer and more understandable.

structure

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion.

content

You provided a variety of reasons and considerations for people spending more time away from their families, which demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

225 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Professional commitments
Economic factors
Career opportunities
Demanding careers
High-paying jobs
Higher education
Prestigious universities
Specialized training programs
Economic opportunities
Living costs
Healthcare services
Medical treatments
Feeling of loneliness
Stress levels
Mental health issues
Lack of family support
Close relationships
Weakened family bonds
Communication gaps
Emotional distress
Physical separation
Strain on marital relationships
Parenting
Personal freedom
Social interactions
Lifestyle choices

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nowadays, more and more people from different cities are spending more time away from their families. what are the possible reasons and the effects on the people themselves and their families?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not resposilbe to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. To what extend to you agree or disagree?

The number of people being sent to prison is increasing year by year. While some people believe prison is the best way to tackle crime, others suggest that community service is more successful.” Discuss both views.

In some parts of the world , many famous people are regarded as 'role models' and they are having an increasing on the youth Is that a positive or negative developments

Some people think that the universities must only accept student with high mark, while others believe that universities must accept students of all ages regardless of their previous grades. Discuss both views and give your opinion.