IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some people believe that studying at univeristy or college is the best route to a successful career,while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

#people #univeristy #college #route #career #job #school
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The majority of people often say that the best way to gain
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
show examples
 life is
studying
Change preposition
by studying
show examples
 at
college
Use synonyms
 or university,
while
Linking Words
 others think that the way forward is
have
Change the verb form
to have
having
show examples
 a job after school.Both viewpoints are valid but I prefer
former
Correct article usage
the former
show examples
 choice and I will highlight the reason in the following essay. It must be understood that learning at university is the best route to a successful career.
This
Linking Words
 means companies have a tendency to receive people who have qualifications and have
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 grasp
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 that major.
For example
Linking Words
,
Add an article
a citizen
the citizen
show examples
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 who have university
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 when
apply
Change the verb form
applying
show examples
 to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
business,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 are able to pass the interview compared to those who do not have any qualifications.
Therefore
Linking Words
,they can get high
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
 rather than each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
,there are numerous
population
Fix the agreement mistake
populations
show examples
those
Change preposition
of those
show examples
 who get successful in occupation.It means they drop out of
college
Use synonyms
 to get the experience for the job to earn money at an early age.
This
Linking Words
 may be true but lack of folk who do not continue the lesson to gain
dream
Correct article usage
a dream
show examples
 life.Result,we should focus on
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
as well as
Linking Words
dig
Wrong verb form
digging
show examples
 deep into our major. From my point of view,I believe the degree of
college
Use synonyms
 is so vital for our future.
Hence
Linking Words
,we
are
Verb problem
can
show examples
easy
Replace the word
easily
show examples
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
advance our
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
 and gain more profit. In conclusion,there are many
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 to
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
 but studying at
college
Use synonyms
 is always
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
 the lead.
Hence
Linking Words
,reaching our dream and getting
successful
Add an article
a successful
show examples
 career.

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task achievement
Your essay presents both perspectives on the issue and outlines your own opinion, which is good. However, make sure to develop your ideas more fully and provide detailed support for each point.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is somewhat inconsistent. Ensure every paragraph has a clear main idea and is followed by supporting details. Introduce linking words and phrases to improve the overall flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay well. That sets a good foundation for presenting your arguments.
task achievement
You have addressed the task effectively by discussing both viewpoints and expressing your own opinion. It shows that you understood what the prompt was asking for.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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