Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child's development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.
Many
people
think that homeschooling children
is the best way for their development, while
others believe that is
necessary for kids
to go to school
. In my view, enrolling juveniles Change preposition
in
to
Change preposition
in
school
is the best way to teach them about many valuable things in life.
Currently, homeschooling has been popular among the
parents Correct article usage
apply
due to
the pandemic situation which has been occurred
lately. There are some benefits of teaching Wrong verb form
occurring
children
at home such
as flexibility of time, learning from the nearest source, and they do not have to travel to go to school
. However
, there is a huge disadvantage of
distance learning. Change preposition
to
Kids
are not interacting directly with their peers, resulting in they
are might be not confident to deal with other Correct pronoun usage
them
people
.
On the other side, many think that going to school
is essential for children
's development. While
they are in school
, professional teachers who are capable for
teaching them are in charge Change preposition
of
for
their learning, Change preposition
of
thus
it will make them develop maturely. Besides
that, by enrolling kids
in school
, they can acquire many friends that are important for improving their social skills. Having numerous friends from different kinds of backgrounds can enrich kids
’ view of the world. Furthermore
, it will increase their empathy and sympathy to
all Change preposition
for
people
. One clear example is when youngsters interact with each other, they learn how to become good
Add an article
a good
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
to
each other, Change preposition
with
hence
it will make them a greater person.
In conclusion, while
be
able to do distant learning is great, teaching Change the verb form
being
children
directly in school
is still the best way for developing young people
. This
is because kids
can interact with their peers and be taught by professional teachers directly.Submitted by nputera.ramadhani on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more transitional words and phrases to guide the reader through your arguments. Using appropriate linking words such as 'furthermore,' 'moreover,' and 'however' consistently throughout your essay would make the logical flow even clearer.
task achievement
For a higher task response score, endeavor to delve deeper into the arguments. For instance, expand on the disadvantages of homeschooling and further elaborate on why school environments foster development.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and well-structured introduction and conclusion, which frames the discussion effectively.
task achievement
The essay does a good job in presenting both sides of the argument, providing balanced viewpoints on homeschooling and traditional schooling.
coherence cohesion
The essay makes a strong conclusion by summarizing the key points and reiterating the writer’s own opinion effectively.