IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002.

The chart below shows numbers of incidents and injuries per 100 million passenger miles travelled (PMT) by transportation type in 2002.
#numbers #incidents #injuries #million #passenger #miles #pmt #transportation #type
The following bar chart represents the information about
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
incidents
 and injuries
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 an unidentified country by five different transportation types: commuter
rail
, heavy
rail
, light
rail
, bus, and demand
respond
Replace the word
response
show examples
, indicated
cases
 per 100 million passengers miles travelled or
PMT
, in 2002.
Overall
, it can be clearly observed that
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 of
incidents
 and injuries
of travelled
Verb problem
travelling
show examples
 with commuter
rail
 was the lowest,
whereas
 that of those who happened to
founded
Wrong verb form
be found
show examples
 in the compared types of transportation in the given timeframe.
However
, it is interesting to note that the statistics of injured commuters
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 fewer than that of the reported
incidents
 in every
types
Change to a singular noun
type
show examples
 of travelling means.
To begin
 with, it is obvious to see that the
demand
Change the verb form
demanded
show examples
respond
Replace the word
response
show examples
 has the highest number of
incidents
 at approximately 240
cases
PMT
, which was
trippled
Correct your spelling
tripled
 that of the light
rail
 and bus at about 80
cases
PMT
. Followed by the heavy
rail
 and commuter
rail
 at 50
cases
PMT
 and 20
cases
PMT
, respectively. In regards
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
,
Correct article usage
the injuries
show examples
injuries
Fix the agreement mistake
injury
show examples
 rate in each type of transportation has
similar
Correct article usage
a similar
show examples
 trend
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
incident
Correct article usage
the incident
show examples
 rate with a slight
dropped
Replace the word
drop
show examples
 ranging from 10-50
cases
PMT
.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words incidents, rail, cases, pmt with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: