Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

#research #activities #health #millions #people

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is a fact that health concern is ubiquitous worldwide. Scientific study shows that certain

activities

have a positive impact on health and some are detrimental.

However

, a lot of

individuals

are involved in bad

activities

While

there are definite causative factors for

this

trend, remedial actions can go a long way to address the situation.

To begin

with, one significant reason for

such

a situation is a lack of time.

For example

, it is observed that

individuals

often use personal vehicles to commute for both short and long distances rather than considering environmentally friendly private transportation.

This

is because people do not have enough time to wait for these transport systems as they are busy with their own work schedules.

Furthermore

, another reason for doing unhealthy

activities

is to reduce psychological stress. To illustrate, it is observed that many

individuals

intake harmful substances like alcohol or drugs despite knowing that would be detrimental to their health to eliminate stress. The resolution of

such

an issue can be easily done by improving public transport facilities.

This

means that

this

transportation should be frequently and easily accessible by

individuals

In addition

, the governmental authorities should invest funds in improving public transportation and encourage people to use it.

Furthermore

, The government can create awareness regarding the side effects of taking unhealthy substances through campaigns on social media services like Twitter, Instagram and even Facebook.

This

is necessary to protect individual’s lives. In conclusion, the primary reason for doing harmful

activities

is that lack of time and stress reduction. These can be easily resolved by the governments after improving the public transport system and spreading awareness regarding the negative effects of harmful substances.

Submitted by parmarheena277254 on Tue Sep 17 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. There were minor issues in sentence transitions that could be polished.

task achievement

The essay could be enhanced by providing more specific examples or real-world statistics to better support the main points, especially in the paragraphs discussing psychological stress and public transport.

task achievement

The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the task, addressing both causes and solutions effectively.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and present, giving the essay a balanced framework.

coherence cohesion

The ideas are mostly clear and well-organized, making it easy to follow the argumentation.

task achievement

Relevant and specific examples were used to support the main points, particularly the example of public transportation and stress reduction.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

280 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

coping mechanisms
peer pressure
cultural norms
addiction
accessible and affordable
negative consequences
public knowledge
mental health professionals
support groups
community resources
stricter regulations
subsidize
work-life balance
personalized interventions

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the Internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?
In recent years, advances in technology have brought significant changes in their workplaces, such as telecommuting, which has took attention due to the use of smartphones as compared to the previous year. This essay will provide information about both the merits and demerits of working at home.
7
band
In some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes rather than buying them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a home?
In several countries, a significant portion of the population opts to rent their homes instead of buying them. This trend has both advantages and disadvantages, which will be discussed in this essay.
5
band
Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to become successful career. While others believe that it is better to get a job staight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
University or college enrollment could be the ideal pathway for people to pursue their brilliant life, that believe influenced by the faith that the more education you get the more opportunity you could gain. On the contrary, others also agree that having a job after high school’s graduation is a better path to obtain more career experience. Therefore, this essay would discuss both view.
5
band
Some says that music, art and drama are important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?
To begin, I agree that music, art, and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Here are a few reasons
5
band
In many cities around the world pollution levels have risen in recent years. Why are some cities becoming more polluted? What effects does this have? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Most cities around the world, pollution levels have escalated in recent years for many reasons. In this writing will discuss causes and effects in three issues which are construction of infrastructures, factories and traffic problems and overcrowding.

Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What is the cause of this? What can be done?

In the past, most people used to travel to their place of work. With increased use of computers, the Internet and smartphones, more and more people are starting to work from home. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development?

In some countries, most people prefer to rent their homes rather than buying them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of renting a home?

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to become successful career. While others believe that it is better to get a job staight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some says that music, art and drama are important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

In many cities around the world pollution levels have risen in recent years. Why are some cities becoming more polluted? What effects does this have? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.