You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In Some Countries, Celebrities Complain About how The Media Publicize Their Private Lives. Some People Say that They Should Accept It as Part of Their Fame.* Do You Agree or Disagree? You should write at least 250 words

#minutes #countries #celebrities #media #lives #people #part #fame

In certain parts of the world,

well known

Add a hyphen

well-known

show examples

people

whine about how their private today life is shared.

However

other

people

think they should agree to it because of their popularity. In my own opinion l strongly disagree with

this

because

celebrities

should not accept the

consequence

Fix the agreement mistake

consequences

show examples

of their fame.

Firstly

celebrities

are

people

who are entitled to their privacy just like everyone else though they have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

chosen a path that they are on the

spot light

Correct your spelling

spotlight

show examples

that does not mean they want their personal life to be the same as their job.

For example

, many

celebrities

in my country Zimbabwe are facing

cyber bullying

Correct your spelling

cyberbullying

show examples

because of how their lives are displayed in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public and

Change preposition

because of

show examples

this

many are committing suicide. Even so, the right to privacy is very important and it helps

people

live a better life.

Secondly

, the media usually publicize information that they think

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is true or even

rumors

Change the spelling

rumours

show examples

from social media platforms like

facebook

Capitalize word

Facebook

show examples

instagram

Change the capitalization

Instagram

show examples

and

twitter

Capitalize word

Twitter

show examples

. Most information is spread through those channels because of the attraction they bring to

people

. By doing

this

most of the

celebrities

works

Correct subject-verb agreement

work

show examples

with companies.

For instance

, a football player in America

was

Correct pronoun usage

who was

show examples

accused of rape and jailed for six years in prison had to shutter his dreams because of how the

rumors

Change the spelling

rumours

show examples

spread.

However

, publicizing of

celebrities

often leads to consequences and loss of jobs. In conclusion, l believe that

celebrities

should do what they want with their lives and should not be forced to accept the invasion of privacy.

While

being a public figure has its disadvantages

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they should not ruin their mental health and well-being.

Submitted by sisalt100 on Mon Jun 10 2024

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task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your position, which is excellent. However, you could further develop your arguments with more specific examples and details. This will strengthen your essay by providing concrete evidence to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Nevertheless, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, linking phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' or 'In addition to' can help in making your essay flow more naturally.

coherence cohesion

It is important to be precise in your language. For instance, some phrases like 'shutter his dreams' could be refined to be more accurate and avoid idiomatic errors. Consider rephrasing to 'shattered his dreams.'

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, both of which contribute to the overall coherence of the essay.

task achievement

You have addressed the prompt effectively by providing a stance and supporting arguments. This shows a good level of task achievement.

task achievement

Inclusivity of examples related to cyberbullying and the football player helps to illustrate your points more vividly.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

273 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. In Some Countries, Celebrities Complain About how The Media Publicize Their Private Lives. Some People Say that They Should Accept It as Part of Their Fame.* Do You Agree or Disagree? You should write at least 250 words

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

People have differing views with regard to the question of how to make our roads safer. In my view, both punishments and a range of other measures can be used together to promote better driving habits.

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment. Only governments and large companies can make a difference. What extent do you agree or disagree?

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not well-managed. What are the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+