In Some Countries, Celebrities Complain About how The Media Publicize Their Private Lives. Some People Say that They Should Accept It as Part of Their Fame.* Do You Agree or Disagree?

#countries #celebrities #media #lives #people #part #fame

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In certain parts of the world,

well known

Add a hyphen

well-known

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people

Use synonyms

whine about how their private today life is shared.

However

Linking Words

other

people

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think they should agree to it because of their popularity. In my own opinion l strongly disagree with

this

Linking Words

because

celebrities

Use synonyms

should not accept the

consequence

Fix the agreement mistake

consequences

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of their fame.

Firstly

Linking Words

celebrities

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are

people

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who are entitled to their privacy just like everyone else though they have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

chosen a path that they are on the

spot light

Correct your spelling

spotlight

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that does not mean they want their personal life to be the same as their job.

For example

Linking Words

, many

celebrities

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in my country Zimbabwe are facing

cyber bullying

Correct your spelling

cyberbullying

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because of how their lives are displayed in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

public and

Change preposition

because of

show examples

this

Linking Words

many are committing suicide. Even so, the right to privacy is very important and it helps

people

Use synonyms

live a better life.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the media usually publicize information that they think

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is true or even

rumors

Change the spelling

rumours

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from social media platforms like

facebook

Capitalize word

Facebook

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instagram

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Instagram

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and

twitter

Capitalize word

Twitter

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. Most information is spread through those channels because of the attraction they bring to

people

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. By doing

this

Linking Words

most of the

celebrities

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works

Correct subject-verb agreement

work

show examples

with companies.

For instance

Linking Words

, a football player in America

was

Correct pronoun usage

who was

show examples

accused of rape and jailed for six years in prison had to shutter his dreams because of how the

rumors

Change the spelling

rumours

show examples

spread.

However

Linking Words

, publicizing of

celebrities

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often leads to consequences and loss of jobs. In conclusion, l believe that

celebrities

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should do what they want with their lives and should not be forced to accept the invasion of privacy.

While

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being a public figure has its disadvantages

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they should not ruin their mental health and well-being.

Submitted by sisalt100 on Mon Jun 10 2024

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task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your position, which is excellent. However, you could further develop your arguments with more specific examples and details. This will strengthen your essay by providing concrete evidence to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Nevertheless, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, linking phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' or 'In addition to' can help in making your essay flow more naturally.

coherence cohesion

It is important to be precise in your language. For instance, some phrases like 'shutter his dreams' could be refined to be more accurate and avoid idiomatic errors. Consider rephrasing to 'shattered his dreams.'

coherence cohesion

The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, both of which contribute to the overall coherence of the essay.

task achievement

You have addressed the prompt effectively by providing a stance and supporting arguments. This shows a good level of task achievement.

task achievement

Inclusivity of examples related to cyberbullying and the football player helps to illustrate your points more vividly.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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In Some Countries, Celebrities Complain About how The Media Publicize Their Private Lives. Some People Say that They Should Accept It as Part of Their Fame.* Do You Agree or Disagree?

1.Discuss your academic and non-academic achievements (for undergraduate and vocational student), and industrial experience (for vocational student only) including the process and skills involved in your previous or current degree program!

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion.

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences.Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime.Discuss both views and give your opinion. T