The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree.
Nowadays, the percentage of fat people has dramatically increased and the health care system is putting a piece of effort into solving
this
problem; however
, some people believe that adding a new dependent that encourages recruitment
to exercise is an ideal solution, while
others object to that. In this
report, I will go through both sides of this
conflict, and then
allow me to conclude
my position.
To begin
with, adding a new accountable
is strategic, effective, useful, and beneficial; Replace the word
accountability
as a consequence
, a field of people support this
idea. For further
explanation, recruitment
do
not have enough time to exercise at home, so adding Change the verb form
does
such
a
Change the article
an
accountable
will help them to be healthier. Replace the word
accountability
In other words
, adding this
conditional will help recruitment
to save time, gain marks by being healthy, and increase their awareness. Moreover
, a field of posts on social media show that many enlistment want to start a healthy lifestyle but they do not have either material or time to do that; therefore
, this
will help them to fulfil their goal without any concern.
Even though the points mentioned above are influencing, there are reverse points that hold equal influence. To illustrate that, this
solution is difficult, money-consuming, time-consuming, and useless. In other words
, teachers acknowledge that learners only pay attention to scientific subjects because they have a part of
projects and exams. Change preposition
in
Also
, many schools admit that they do not have pieces of equipment, coaches, and areas, so recruitment
will not be able to exercise practically, indeed, they will just study theoretically which will not lead to any benefit.
In conclusion, although
adding this
conditional is beneficial, helpful, and entertaining, there are many demerits of adding it; as a result
, I completely disagree with the statement mentioned above.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
Ensure that you clearly define key terms like 'new dependent' and 'conditional' to avoid confusion.
coherence cohesion
Organize your ideas in well-defined paragraphs, each focusing on a single main point, to improve logical structure.
task achievement
Provide more concrete examples or statistical data to make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the introduction by providing a clear thesis statement that outlines your position from the start.
task achievement
The essay effectively discusses both sides of the argument, fulfilling the task requirement.
task achievement
The conclusion clearly states the writer's opinion, providing a definitive stance on the issue.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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