Some people believe that allowing childern to make their own choices on everyday matters (Such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuls who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for childern to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

A lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
A lot
Lots
show examples
of individuals have an opinion that
enable
Change the verb form
enables
show examples
kids
to make their decisions on everyday
issues
(
such
as
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
, clothes and the items in order to
entartain
Correct your spelling
entertain
). It is often argued that
this
is a positive development for
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
in our
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
show examples
, whilst others disagree and think it will lead to the people in society who
selfish
Change the word
selfishly
show examples
only think about
their
Correct pronoun usage
themself
themselves
show examples
self
and their own requires.
This
essay agrees that for young
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
a
decision
by
their
Correct pronoun usage
themself
themselves
show examples
self
about everything around their
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
life
is beneficial to children and parents. It is clear the permission of children
make
Fix the infinitive
to make
show examples
their own choices on all
issues
around
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life can create
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
independent lifestyle
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
each kid.
Throughout
Change preposition
Through
show examples
activities of thinking
solve
Wrong verb form
solving
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
problems and selecting the suitable for
they
Change the pronoun
them
show examples
by their
self
can establish more about
lifeskills
Correct your spelling
life skills
show examples
and
mature
Correct article usage
a mature
show examples
mind, can apply that to solve
many
Correct your spelling
any
show examples
possible
issues
in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
future
and make a
correctly
Change the adverb
correct
show examples
direction
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
any problem. Consider the example of the majority of successful people were
practiced
Change the spelling
practised
show examples
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
anything by themselves when they were
childhood
Change preposition
in childhood
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
after
made
Change the form of the verb
making
show examples
a
decision
by
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
lots
a lot
show examples
of time, they had
an
Correct article usage
the
show examples
experience of choosing which is better, it established
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
significant skill for them in the
future
. Creating
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
independent lifestyle and mature thinking
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
everthing
Correct your spelling
everything
bring important roles to young individuals.
However
, there is a small minority that
suggest
Change the verb form
suggests
show examples
that the problem is more about
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
who only thinking the advantages they will
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
.
This
belief is based on when they were a child, they were allowed to choose anything they wanted and made a
decision
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
solve any
issues
.
For instance
, they require everyone compulsory to their wishes because
in
Add the comma(s)
, in
show examples
their
self
, they will have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
thinking that they
always
Add a missing verb
are always
show examples
true and their thinking are useful
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life at the moment
although
everyone
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
our
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
better
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
, they will
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not care and selfish only think for themselves.
This
may be a valid point, but there is little worldwide evidence to support
this
beging
Correct your spelling
being
a bigger issue than the dependent. It is the opinion of
this
writer that it will be perfect to combine the
self
-choosing of
kids
and parental supervision. When
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children make a
badly
Change the adverb
bad
show examples
decision
, parents who can intervene and give
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advices
Change the wording
advice
pieces of advice
bits of advice
show examples
or how to
guide
Verb problem
apply
show examples
solve any problem effectively can alter the
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
of young individuals more
positive
Change the word
positively
show examples
and go
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the right way
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
making
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
. The teaching of each parent is a significant influence
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
each
kids's
Fix the agreement mistake
kid's
show examples
life, they teach their daughters or sons
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
positive lessons,
they
Correct word choice
and they
show examples
almost will be
a good citizens
Correct the article-noun agreement
good citizens
a good citizen
show examples
in the
future
. In conclusion,
kids
have two ways to develop for the
future
.
Hence
,
this
essay has shown it is more effective to establish the independence of
kids
's
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
and need
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
help from parents's devotion.
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coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear and consistent structure in your essay to help the reader follow your argument more easily.
supported main points
Expand on the examples given to provide more detailed support for your points. This will help to strengthen your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that all ideas presented are fully explained and elaborated upon to avoid any confusion or ambiguity.
introduction conclusion present
The essay presents a clear stance on the debated issue and provides a conclusion that ties back to the arguments presented.
complete response
The essay attempts to address both views on the issue, which shows a balanced approach to the task.
relevant specific examples
The author tries to support their arguments with examples, although these need to be more relevant and specific to be fully effective.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • autonomy
  • independence
  • self-confidence
  • selfish tendencies
  • responsible choices
  • consequences
  • creativity
  • individuality
  • personal development
  • strike a balance
  • boundaries
  • social values
  • decision-making skills
  • guidance
  • fostering
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