IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that
countries
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 with strong
economy
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economies
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 should provide humanitarian aid to poorer
nations
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 to help them recover from
disasters
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.
This
Linking Words
 writer agrees with the statement because developed
countries
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 have contributed to the environmental damage in poor
countries
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 and harmony among
nations
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 around the globe. It must be acknowledged that natural
disasters
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 happening in developing
countries
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 are the
results
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result
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 of industrial activities, which are mainly operated in wealthy
nations
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. To clarify, rich
countries
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 around the world earn most of their money from industrialization, including manufacturing products. These activities normally release many harmful emissions and hazardous chemicals into the environment, which can spread to poorer
countries
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 and increase the number of environmental catastrophes there.
Therefore
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, economically beneficial
countries
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 should take responsibility
to assist
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for assisting
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 poorer
countries
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to overcome
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in overcoming
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 difficulties caused by
disasters
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.Take the USA as a prime example, where they have offered financial aid to Mexico when
this
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 country faces
disasters
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due to
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 some evidence proving
the
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that
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 industrial waste from the USA is the main cause of these natural
disasters
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. Maintaining peace between
nations
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 is another point worth
consideration
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considering
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.
This
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 is because natural
disasters
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 are undesirable events
to
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for
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 every nation. If wealthy
countries
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 show empathy by providing necessities and medical treatments to poorer
countries
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 during
this
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 harsh period, these poor
countries
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 will develop a sense of gratitude towards the rich ones.
As a result
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, undeveloped
countries
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 are likely to support wealthy
countries
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to achieve
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in achieving
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 their global goals in terms of
labor
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labour
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 and natural resources.
By contrast
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, poor
countries
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 can feel unjust when they have to endure natural
disasters
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 without humanitarian relief from rich
nations
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, which can lead to conflicts between different
countries
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. Recently, Indonesians have seriously criticized China for their untreated sewage causing severe floods in their country, yet not compensating for the damage. In conclusion, developed
nations
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 ought to help developing ones overcome difficulties caused by natural
disasters
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 through humanitarian assistance
due to
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 their contribution to these natural catastrophes and peace on
this
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 planet.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides relevant reasons and examples to support it. Ensure that each paragraph sticks to one main idea for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical connections between sentences and paragraphs. Use more transition words and phrases for smoother flow.
task achievement
The inclusion of specific examples strengthens your argument. Consider adding more detailed explanations for some points to provide a fuller response.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and effectively states your position on the topic.
relevant specific examples
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your points, which adds credibility to your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Both the introduction and conclusion are well-written, clearly presenting your stance and summarizing your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Humanitarian relief
  • Infrastructure
  • Global solidarity
  • Disproportionately
  • External assistance
  • Rebuilding efforts
  • Disaster response
  • Investment in stability
  • Dependency theory
  • Responsible intervention
  • Paternalistic
  • Shared humanity
  • Sovereignty
  • Capabilities
  • Fatality rates
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