Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. Do you agree or disagree?

It is argued that
countries
with strong
economy
Fix the agreement mistake
economies
show examples
should provide humanitarian aid to poorer
nations
to help them recover from
disasters
.
This
writer agrees with the statement because developed
countries
have contributed to the environmental damage in poor
countries
and harmony among
nations
around the globe. It must be acknowledged that natural
disasters
happening in developing
countries
are the
results
Fix the agreement mistake
result
show examples
of industrial activities, which are mainly operated in wealthy
nations
. To clarify, rich
countries
around the world earn most of their money from industrialization, including manufacturing products. These activities normally release many harmful emissions and hazardous chemicals into the environment, which can spread to poorer
countries
and increase the number of environmental catastrophes there.
Therefore
, economically beneficial
countries
should take responsibility
to assist
Change preposition
for assisting
show examples
poorer
countries
to overcome
Change preposition
in overcoming
show examples
difficulties caused by
disasters
.Take the USA as a prime example, where they have offered financial aid to Mexico when
this
country faces
disasters
due to
some evidence proving
the
Correct your spelling
that
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industrial waste from the USA is the main cause of these natural
disasters
. Maintaining peace between
nations
is another point worth
consideration
Replace the word
considering
show examples
.
This
is because natural
disasters
are undesirable events
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
every nation. If wealthy
countries
show empathy by providing necessities and medical treatments to poorer
countries
during
this
harsh period, these poor
countries
will develop a sense of gratitude towards the rich ones.
As a result
, undeveloped
countries
are likely to support wealthy
countries
to achieve
Change preposition
in achieving
show examples
their global goals in terms of
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
and natural resources.
By contrast
, poor
countries
can feel unjust when they have to endure natural
disasters
without humanitarian relief from rich
nations
, which can lead to conflicts between different
countries
. Recently, Indonesians have seriously criticized China for their untreated sewage causing severe floods in their country, yet not compensating for the damage. In conclusion, developed
nations
ought to help developing ones overcome difficulties caused by natural
disasters
through humanitarian assistance
due to
their contribution to these natural catastrophes and peace on
this
planet.
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides relevant reasons and examples to support it. Ensure that each paragraph sticks to one main idea for better clarity.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance the logical connections between sentences and paragraphs. Use more transition words and phrases for smoother flow.
task achievement
The inclusion of specific examples strengthens your argument. Consider adding more detailed explanations for some points to provide a fuller response.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and effectively states your position on the topic.
relevant specific examples
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your points, which adds credibility to your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
Both the introduction and conclusion are well-written, clearly presenting your stance and summarizing your main points.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Humanitarian relief
  • Infrastructure
  • Global solidarity
  • Disproportionately
  • External assistance
  • Rebuilding efforts
  • Disaster response
  • Investment in stability
  • Dependency theory
  • Responsible intervention
  • Paternalistic
  • Shared humanity
  • Sovereignty
  • Capabilities
  • Fatality rates
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