At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the of older people. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
There is an idea that the population of young
adults
is almost more than elder people
in some countries. This
is a topic which has pros and cons but I think the positive points are more than the negative ones.
The existence of more young people
in a country
brings many benefits. Because they have enough energy to deal with challenges in comparison with the old people
. The main important reasons are the economy and industry. Regarding this
, the more young workforce, the more activity in companies, factories, and offices the more productivity and efficiency for the country
. This
is like a cycle in which all elements impact each other. Except for this
, in society, young adults
can engage other people
in different situations to have exciting and happy feelings in their moments.
On the flip side, although
young adults
increase motivation and enthusiasm among people
, it causes some trouble in some cases. This
is a common and inevitable happening in a country
due to
overpopulation. For example
, if the rate of job positions decreases, the proportion of crimes proliferates. This
situation is not good for a country
because it can influence every element of life like marriage, travelling, and physical and mental health. To solve this
issue, each country
must have the right plan to manage the situation.
In conclusion, overall
, if some countries have more young adults
than senior people
, it is a positive sign. There are many opportunities for young people
to work. It provides many good situations for a country
to develop but it is really important how to manage the conditions.Submitted by brightstargalaxy on
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task achievement
To improve task response, try to provide more specific examples to back up your points. This makes your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider linking sentences and paragraphs more smoothly. Transitional phrases and connective words can help enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Although the introduction and conclusion are present, try to make them more compelling by clearly summarizing the key points in the conclusion and making a more intriguing opening statement.
task achievement
The essay identifies both advantages and disadvantages, fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main ideas are generally clear and logically structured, contributing to a fairly coherent narrative.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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