At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the of older people. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is an idea that the population of young
adults
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is almost more than elder
people
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in some countries.
This
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is a topic which has pros and cons but I think the positive points are more than the negative ones. The existence of more young
people
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in a
country
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brings many benefits. Because they have enough energy to deal with challenges in comparison with the old
people
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. The main important reasons are the economy and industry. Regarding
this
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, the more young workforce, the more activity in companies, factories, and offices the more productivity and efficiency for the
country
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.
This
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is like a cycle in which all elements impact each other. Except for
this
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, in society, young
adults
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can engage other
people
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in different situations to have exciting and happy feelings in their moments. On the flip side,
although
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young
adults
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increase motivation and enthusiasm among
people
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, it causes some trouble in some cases.
This
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is a common and inevitable happening in a
country
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due to
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overpopulation.
For example
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, if the rate of job positions decreases, the proportion of crimes proliferates.
This
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situation is not good for a
country
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because it can influence every element of life like marriage, travelling, and physical and mental health. To solve
this
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issue, each
country
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must have the right plan to manage the situation. In conclusion,
overall
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, if some countries have more young
adults
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than senior
people
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, it is a positive sign. There are many opportunities for young
people
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to work. It provides many good situations for a
country
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to develop but it is really important how to manage the conditions.
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task achievement
To improve task response, try to provide more specific examples to back up your points. This makes your argument stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, consider linking sentences and paragraphs more smoothly. Transitional phrases and connective words can help enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Although the introduction and conclusion are present, try to make them more compelling by clearly summarizing the key points in the conclusion and making a more intriguing opening statement.
task achievement
The essay identifies both advantages and disadvantages, fulfilling the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame the essay.
coherence cohesion
The main ideas are generally clear and logically structured, contributing to a fairly coherent narrative.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic composition
  • economic dynamism
  • dependency ratio
  • social services
  • pension systems
  • technological adeptness
  • innovative workforce
  • national savings
  • educational demand
  • employment opportunities
  • crime rates
  • economic disparity
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