Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #activity

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Most

people

think that the government should ban dangerous

sports

On the other hand

, some

people

support playing dangerous

sports

because of their freedom to play any

sports

. In

this

essay, we will talk about both views of the

people

Firstly

People

think it is very risky to play dangerous

sports

because it leads to death or any other effects on

sports

persons.

For instance

, Snowboarding is one of the most dangerous

sports

in the world if there are any mistakes made by

the

Correct article usage

show examples

person it leads to death. They were afraid that dangerous

sports

will

Wrong verb form

would

show examples

spread fear to the next generation

people

Change preposition

of people

show examples

to avoid many

sports

On the other hand

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

want to play dangerous

sports

because they consider that

sports

was

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

a traditional sport.

For example

, in the southern part of India

people

play kabbadi which is one of the dangerous

sports

india

Change the capitalization

India

show examples

but

people

were playing still because they consider it

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a traditional sport.

People

have the freedom to play every sport in the world and each

sports

give you a different kind of experience to play and it makes

people

happy to play the

sports

as long as they wish. If they did not try many games how would they know their particular talents

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they have to try as many games

possible

Change preposition

as possible

show examples

Change the punctuation

show examples

In conclusion, I strongly believe that

people

have their own freedom to play their own

sports

and they have their own reason to play their

sports

. But I would like

people

to know the risk

Change preposition

show examples

dangerous

sports

and to avoid causing serious accidents and death. So the government need not ban any dangerous

sports

Submitted by insighttribez on Fri Dec 01 2023

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Style

Try to diversify your sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate a wider range of language skills.

Coherence

Include a broader variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay and better connect your ideas.

Content

Incorporate more detailed examples and evidence to support your arguments and to give them more depth.

Accuracy

Make sure to thoroughly proofread your essay to catch and correct any grammatical errors and typos.

Content

You have provided a clear and relevant discussion for both views and your own opinion, effectively addressing all parts of the prompt.

Structure

Your essay has a logical structure, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

severe injuries
fatalities
base jumping
bull running
extreme skiing
safeguard
well-being
regulating
avoidable harm
healthcare costs
burdening
personal freedom
autonomy
training
equipment
mitigated
personal satisfaction
mental health benefits
resilience
adventure
assess risks
public safety
unnecessary healthcare costs
outright bans
balanced approach
stringent safety standards
mandatory training sessions
adequately informed
safeguarding
public health

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Fully explain your ideas

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