Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Most
people
think that the government should ban dangerous sports
, On the other hand
, some people
support playing dangerous sports
because of their freedom to play any sports
. In this
essay, we will talk about both views of the people
.
Firstly
, People
think it is very risky to play dangerous sports
because it leads to death or any other effects on sports
persons. For instance
, Snowboarding is one of the most dangerous sports
in the world if there are any mistakes made by the
person it leads to death. They were afraid that dangerous Correct article usage
a
sports
will
spread fear to the next generation Wrong verb form
would
people
to avoid many Change preposition
of people
sports
.
On the other hand
, the
Correct article usage
apply
people
want to play dangerous sports
because they consider that sports
was
a traditional sport. Unnecessary verb
apply
For example
, in the southern part of India people
play kabbadi which is one of the dangerous sports
in india
but Change the capitalization
India
people
were playing still because they consider it as
a traditional sport. Change preposition
apply
People
have the freedom to play every sport in the world and each sports
give you a different kind of experience to play and it makes people
happy to play the sports
as long as they wish. If they did not try many games how would they know their particular talents so
they have to try as many games Correct word choice
apply
possible
Change preposition
as possible
.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that Change the punctuation
?
people
have their own freedom to play their own sports
and they have their own reason to play their sports
. But I would like people
to know the risk in
dangerous Change preposition
of
sports
and to avoid causing serious accidents and death. So the government need not ban any dangerous sports
.Submitted by insighttribez on
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Style
Try to diversify your sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate a wider range of language skills.
Coherence
Include a broader variety of linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your essay and better connect your ideas.
Content
Incorporate more detailed examples and evidence to support your arguments and to give them more depth.
Accuracy
Make sure to thoroughly proofread your essay to catch and correct any grammatical errors and typos.
Content
You have provided a clear and relevant discussion for both views and your own opinion, effectively addressing all parts of the prompt.
Structure
Your essay has a logical structure, with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making it easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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