IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

​ You were absent from an important event held by the company you work for. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter: Apologize for your absence and explain the reasoning Explain why you had to be at the other event Explain what you will do to catch up Write at least 150 words. You do NOT need to write any addresses.

#event #company #work #manager #absence #addresses
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter in relation to the
shareholders
Change noun form
shareholder's
shareholders'
show examples
 meeting that I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
missed on
Feburary
Correct your spelling
February
, 25, 2024. I am extremely sorry for not attending
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
such
 an important event of the
enterpreneurship
Correct your spelling
entrepreneurship
. Actually, my best friend's mother is coping with cancer and she fell sick suddenly and I have to admit her to the
Machenzie
Correct your spelling
Mackenzie
 Health
hospital
Capitalize word
Hospital
show examples
, Richmond Hill. Unfortunately, my friend was not present in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
town
for taking
Change preposition
to take
show examples
 care of his mother because he had
went
Wrong verb form
gone
show examples
 to Australia for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 weeks due
his
Change preposition
to his
show examples
 business and there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 no one else who could do
this
 job for him.
Hence
, I had to stay by her side
for providing
Change preposition
to provide
show examples
 her
all
Change preposition
with all
show examples
 the required medications. He is going to be back tomorrow
due to
emergency
Correct article usage
the emergency
show examples
 condition of his mother. I am planning to work on the following weekend to catch up with all the meeting
agenda's
Change noun form
agendas
show examples
 that I
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 missed in
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 two weeks. I will soon cover all the details of the meeting and I promise you that in future, there will not be any
sitution
Correct your spelling
situation
 when I need to miss the meetings. I will be waiting for your reply. Yours sincerely, Abc
Submitted by ss6802125 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your letter generally demonstrates a good logical structure with coherent paragraphs and a clear progression of ideas. To further enhance this, consider varying your sentence structures and using a wider range of cohesive devices (e.g., conjunctions, pronouns, synonyms) to link ideas more smoothly within and across paragraphs.
Task Achievement
In terms of task achievement, your letter satisfactorily addresses all parts of the prompt with relevant details. To improve, focus on expanding your explanations with more specific examples or by reflecting on potential implications. Additionally, ensure that your apology sounds sincere and considerate by including phrases that more deeply express regret and understanding of the impact of your action.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: