It is important to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

#risk #lives #risks

taking risks could get you to higher levels in life or drag you down, in my essay, I'm going to discuss both sides and find out which one is more logical and useful.

Firstly

, It seems to many people that being put on the line is important because it takes you to a whole new level faster than taking the safe way,

further

, folk think that without taking a risk you won't have a story to tell,

furthermore

, they say that you wouldn't progress more in life without being in a dangerous situation,

additionally

, even if you fall because of your risk you will learn something new and gain a new experience.

On the other hand

, most of the population prefers to stay away from possibility because they think it could potentially harm them especially those who have families,

moreover

, if the risk fails it'll drag you down into the mud,

also

, taking peril needs a lot of studies because a small loss of detail will have huge consequences, on top of that, people love to live a calm life staying away from any possible danger. In conclusion, we see that the downsides of taking risks are greater than the upsides,

furthermore

, most of the population wants to live without worrying about any potential danger.

Submitted by slmansamiatti3178388 on Mon Jun 10 2024

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Task Achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more persuasive and relatable.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on logically structuring your arguments within each paragraph. Ensure that each point flows smoothly into the next to maintain a logical progression.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider adding smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This will improve the overall flow and cohesion of the essay.

Task Achievement

The essay presents a balanced view on the topic by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of taking risks.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and make the essay feel complete.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

215 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
creativity
significant
groundbreaking
broaden perspectives
enhance skill sets
fosters
resilience
adaptability
setbacks
strategies
excessive
ill-considered
consequences
financial losses
reputation
measured approach
assessing risks
informed decisions
mitigate
calculated
proactive
reactive
stagnation

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It is important to take risk, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries, girls and boys are educated in different schools rather than in the same school. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In many countries today, people buy a range of household goods( television, mircowave, oven and rice cookers). Is it a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, tourists and scientists are allowed to travel to remote natural environments. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answers and include example from your own experience?

We live in cities or towns that have museums displaying historical and cultural importance, but people do not visit them. Why some people don't visit museums in their local areas? What is a solution?

Some people believe that sport has an important role in society. Others, however, feel that it is nothing more than a leisure activity for some people. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.