IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the chart below shows what anthropology graudates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. the table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.

the chart below shows what anthropology graudates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree course. the table shows the salaries of the anthropologists in work after five years.
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The pie chart indicates information about the destinations of Anthropology students after graduation from university, and the table provides data about their salaries after five years of
work
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, it appears that the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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majority of Anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
 are employed at full-time
work
Use synonyms
, and those who
work
Use synonyms
 in the government sector receive the highest salary. Looking at the
detail
Fix the agreement mistake
details
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, it can be seen that 52% of Anthropology
graduates
Use synonyms
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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full-time jobs, which
was
Wrong verb form
is
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 more than all of the other types of jobs.
This
Linking Words
 was followed by part-time
work
Use synonyms
 and unemployed
graduates
Use synonyms
, at 15% and 12% respectively.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
graduates
Use synonyms
 at full-time postgrad study and
graduates
Use synonyms
 at part-time
work
Use synonyms
 and postgrad study were just 5% and 8% respectively.
Finally
Linking Words
, 8% of
graduates
Use synonyms
 were unknown in
this
Linking Words
 survey. In terms of salary,
graduates
Use synonyms
 who were employed in government sections received the highest amount of money, with half of them giving more than 100,000$, followed by freelance constitutions and private companies, with 40% and 30% respectively. Regarding 25,000$ to 49,000, which was the lowest salary, it appears that private companies took a lead, at 10%, twice as much as others.

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words work, graduates with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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