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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the reported number of cases of influenza in people over 65 in a certain village in the UK from 1985 to 1995.

The graph below shows the reported number of cases of influenza in people over 65 in a certain village in the UK from 1985 to 1995.
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The line graph illustrates the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 were 65 and
over ages
Correct your spelling
overages
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 in a particular village which was located in the UK between 1985 to 1995.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was a fluctuating trend in the
entired
Correct your spelling
entire
 time period.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the highest number of people
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
were
Verb problem
had
show examples
 flu in the UK, in 1991. As can be seen from the graph, the number of cases increased to 40 from around 55 in the first three years. In the next year, the figures slightly fell around 45. For the following three years, the amount of people who were influenza showed dramatically rose and reached a peak, at nearly 75 in 1991.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, as is shown by the graph, there was a slight decrease in the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of cases from 1991 to 1993, at about 60.
Conversely
Linking Words
, between 1993 and 1994, the figures increased insignificantly around 65. And the number remained at around 60
at the end
Linking Words
 of the period.

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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reported cases
  • influenza
  • over 65
  • decade
  • peak
  • trough
  • trend
  • seasonal variations
  • fluctuations
  • vaccine availability
  • public health interventions
  • analysis
  • significant
  • population trends
  • data
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