The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below shows the number of employed persons by job type and sex for Australia last year

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart represents the percentages of 7 different jobs, managers,
professionals
, semi-
professionals
,
tradespeople
, production, clerical and labourers by gender.
This
information concerns the population of Australia
last
year.
Overall
, it is shown that clerical, labourers,
professionals
and semi-
professionals
had similar ratios by gender
while
managers,
tradespeople
and production had significant differences between males and females. To start with, we can observe that Clerical has the highest percentage of females at almost 1000,
while
tradespeople
and production had the lowest at 100.
In addition
, most
men
were
tradespeople
with the percentage reaching 900.
on the other hand
, the least
men
were labourers with the figure of 400.
Moreover
, we can see that
tradespeople
had the biggest
difference
between
men
and women. As for
men
's percentage was 900 and women's was 100, as I mentioned above.
This
important
difference
was 800.
Finally
, the smallest
difference
was between
men
professionals
and women
professionals
at 650 and 700 respectively.
This
difference
was only 50.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words professionals, tradespeople, men, difference with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 4 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Employment figures
  • Sectors
  • Significant disparities
  • Gender balance
  • Skewed
  • Trends
  • Patterns
  • Dominant
  • Inferred
  • Labor market
  • Year-on-year comparison
  • Insights
  • Implications
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