IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of three surveys on absenteeism in a particular European country in the years 2000, 2005 and 2010. The results show the reasons people gave for not going to work. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of three surveys on absenteeism in a particular European country in the years 2000, 2005 and 2010. The results show the reasons people gave for not going to work. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#results #three #surveys #absenteeism #european #country #years #show #people #work #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The bar chart illustrates
comparison
Add an article
a comparison
the comparison
show examples
 between excuses of people for
ubsent
Correct your spelling
absent
 in work. The
data
 are based on the results of three surveys done in a particular European country in three different years in one decade. The
data
 are measured in numbers.
Overall
, illness
consistently
Add a missing verb
is consistently
show examples
 considered as the highest during the given period.
While
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 stress
data
 is relatively low compared to other reasons. Family responsibilities
data
 are approximately unchanged during the years . On the one hand , The number of people who used illness as an excuse in 2000 was less than 45 and it
reduce
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 in 2005 to exactly 40.
In addition
, The figure
cuntinue
Correct your spelling
continue
continued
 to decline next
fife
Correct your spelling
five
show examples
year
Fix the agreement mistake
years
show examples
 and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 35 in 2010. With regard to stress, there is a slight
fluctuate
Replace the word
fluctuation
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, it start at just over 5 in 2000 .
However
 ,the figure showed a slight decline in 2005 before shout up in 2010 and
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 around 13.
On the other hand
, personal needs experience a gradual increase . It
start
Wrong verb form
started
show examples
 at around 14 and
then
 it rose to around 20 and 23 in 2005 and 2010 respectively. Family responsibility is
proximetely
Correct your spelling
approximately
proximately
 the same in the given years at around 27.
In addition
, the initial number of unexpected
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 was roughly 7 . It
recover
Wrong verb form
recovered
show examples
 in 2005 before fell slightly in 20010 to around 13.
Submitted by ananan2780 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words data with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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