The chart below shows the results of three surveys on absenteeism in a particular European country in the years 2000, 2005 and 2010. The results show the reasons people gave for not going to work. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#results #three #surveys #absenteeism #european #country #years #show #people #work #summarise #information #features #comparisons

The bar chart illustrates

comparison

Add an article

a comparison

the comparison

show examples

between excuses of people for

ubsent

Correct your spelling

absent

in work. The

data

are based on the results of three surveys done in a particular European country in three different years in one decade. The

data

are measured in numbers.

Overall

, illness

consistently

Add a missing verb

is consistently

show examples

considered as the highest during the given period.

While

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

stress

data

is relatively low compared to other reasons. Family responsibilities

data

are approximately unchanged during the years . On the one hand , The number of people who used illness as an excuse in 2000 was less than 45 and it

reduce

Wrong verb form

reduced

show examples

in 2005 to exactly 40.

In addition

, The figure

cuntinue

Correct your spelling

continue

continued

to decline next

fife

Correct your spelling

five

show examples

year

Fix the agreement mistake

years

show examples

and

reach

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

35 in 2010. With regard to stress, there is a slight

fluctuate

Replace the word

fluctuation

show examples

, it start at just over 5 in 2000 .

However

,the figure showed a slight decline in 2005 before shout up in 2010 and

reach

Wrong verb form

reached

show examples

around 13.

On the other hand

, personal needs experience a gradual increase . It

start

Wrong verb form

started

show examples

at around 14 and

then

it rose to around 20 and 23 in 2005 and 2010 respectively. Family responsibility is

proximetely

Correct your spelling

approximately

proximately

the same in the given years at around 27.

In addition

, the initial number of unexpected

problem

Fix the agreement mistake

problems

show examples

was roughly 7 . It

recover

Wrong verb form

recovered

show examples

in 2005 before fell slightly in 20010 to around 13.

Submitted by ananan2780 on Mon Jun 10 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "in addition".

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words data with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decline" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 5 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

221 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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