Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree

#people #cities #health

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Many people hold the view that living in a metropolis is a bad choice for residents'

health

Use synonyms

While

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I think that the urban centers are the places with high development in therapy, I disagree with the view that living in

cities

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will have human harmful impact on their

health

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. On the one hand, it is reasonable that staying in urban

cities

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can make dwellers feel concerned about their strength. In fact, the majority of manufacturers and factories are concentrated in big

cities

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rather than rural areas.

This

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leads to excessive emission effect to the atmosphere

also

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the goods which is sold in the market nearby.

In addition

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, when people get food which has been affected by emissions their

health

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will be threatened by lung or heart disease, in many severe conditions patients may have cancer or live a plant life. If urban

cities

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do not create rules for those manufacturers, new diseases can be formed and become the most dangerous risk for humanity.

However

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, from the writer’s experience, the most effective cure has been found and improved in many renowned hospitals located in big

cities

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. Nowadays, the government not only try to enhance and equip the state with modern equipment but

also

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train a good team of doctors.

Thus

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this

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is considered

the

Correct article usage

show examples

practical method to help residents with their concerns about their

health

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Hence

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, looking at the advancement of treatment, many therapies make patients feel less hurting and promote recovery.

Moreover

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, dwellers will live better and cut down the payment for long-term hospitalization. In conclusion,

while

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I support the view that living in urban centres will be better for

health

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rather seems to be a bad choice.

However

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this

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does not indicate that there is a non-toxic emissions impact on goods.

This

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is crucial for people to pay attention when purchasing products from every market, selecting the unsafe one will cause the severe problems

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task achievement

Your essay addresses both views—how living in cities might negatively impact health and why cities can offer better healthcare—demonstrating a balanced consideration of the prompt. However, ensure that you fully explain and elaborate on your main points.

task achievement

The introduction clearly presents your stance, but it can be strengthened by briefly outlining the main points you will discuss in the essay.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use more linking words and phrases to ensure your ideas are smoothly connected.

coherence cohesion

Clarify and connect some points better to avoid any confusion. For example, the second paragraph could be organized so the ideas are more logically sequenced.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion.

task achievement

You have presented a balanced view, acknowledging both the positive and negative aspects of living in cities.

coherence cohesion

You have used some good linking words and phrases.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

315 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

respiratory problems
population density
stress levels
mental health issues
sedentary lifestyles
healthcare facilities
cardiovascular diseases
psychological well-being
recreational areas
social networks

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Some people think that living in big cities is bad for people's health. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures.

Many people argue that in order to improve educational quality, high school students are encouraged to make comments or even criticism of their teachers. Others think it will lead to a loss of respect and discipline in the classroom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

When we meet someone for the first time, we generally decide very quickly what kind of person we think they are and if we like them or not. Is this a good thing or a bad thing?

More and more people are becoming seriously overweight. Some people suggest that the solution to this problem is to increase the price of fattening foods. To what extent do you agree or disagree?