Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people think that people who have
profession
Change the noun form
professions
such
as doctors and engineers, should be stay
and Change the verb form
stay
work
in the country
where they gained their qualifities
. In my opinion, they should be free to make Correct your spelling
qualifications
decision
about their professional Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
work
area. This
essay will discuss both views and state my own position.
On the one hand, governments supply fundings
Change the noun form
funding
people
who want to gain Change preposition
to people
profession
and it Correct article usage
a profession
accounted
for Wrong verb form
accounts
around
millions of money annually. They Change preposition
apply
allot
huge budgets in duties for trainee students Correct your spelling
allow
such
as will be doctor
or Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
engineer
. Because of Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
this
huge investment, governments have expectation
to them that they repay their Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
fundings
with Fix the agreement mistake
funding
work
in the country
where they trained. According to
statistics, the cost of a student’s medical education lasting 6 years to
the USA is approximately Change preposition
in
3million
dollars.
Correct your spelling
3 million
On the other hand
, professionals
would earn more money different
countries than Change preposition
in different
the
Change preposition
in the
country
which
they qualified. Change preposition
in which
As a result
of higher earnings, it presents more
qualified life to them. Correct article usage
a more
However
, professionals
may prefer to go to countries that offer better standards, especially, in terms of salaries. For example
, in the UK doctors’ income around
£20,000 (about ₺800,000) Add a missing verb
is around
while
they only gain ₺50,000 in Turkey.
In addition
to that, developed countries gave a lot of oppurtinities
to qualified employers as Correct your spelling
opportunities
a
skilled Correct article usage
apply
worker
, especially, in Fix the agreement mistake
workers
practical
Add an article
the practical
area
. They would meet advanced technology with regard to their Fix the agreement mistake
areas
work
to be more improved in their majors with different experiences. For instance
, in Dubai, government
is planning to construct numerous Add an article
the government
kind
of buildings with cutting-edge technology. Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
According to
Times
, Correct article usage
the Times
as a result
of this
, a lot of professionals
such
as civil engineers decided to go to United
Arab Emirates Correct article usage
the United
who
Correct word choice
and
trained
Wrong verb form
train
another
Change preposition
in another
country
.
In conclusion, besides
government’s
investment, Correct article usage
the government’s
professionals
should not be have
to repay their Change the verb form
have
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
with stay
and Change preposition
by staying
work
in the Replace the word
working
country
which
they gain Change preposition
in which
profession
. I certainly believe that they should be free to choose a Correct pronoun usage
their profession
country
which most
suitable for them.Add a missing verb
is most
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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use more linking devices such as 'Therefore,' 'In addition to,' etc. to improve cohesion.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address both views equally. The discussion on the first viewpoint could be further developed to provide a balanced argument.
Language Accuracy
Work on improving grammatical accuracy. Pay attention to plural forms, subject-verb agreement, and article usage.
Language Range
Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance your expression. This will also make your essay more engaging to read.
Task Achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and provides relevant examples to support the main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly states the writer's opinion and outlines the structure of the essay.
Task Achievement
Good use of statistical data and examples to back up arguments, which adds credibility to the points made.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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