Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some people think that people who have
profession
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professions
show examples
such
as doctors and engineers, should
be stay
Change the verb form
stay
show examples
and
work
in the
country
where they gained their
qualifities
Correct your spelling
qualifications
. In my opinion, they should be free to make
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
about their professional
work
area.
This
essay will discuss both views and state my own position. On the one hand, governments supply
fundings
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funding
show examples
people
Change preposition
to people
show examples
who want to gain
profession
Correct article usage
a profession
show examples
and it
accounted
Wrong verb form
accounts
show examples
for
around
Change preposition
apply
show examples
millions of money annually. They
allot
Correct your spelling
allow
show examples
huge budgets in duties for trainee students
such
as will be
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
or
engineer
Fix the agreement mistake
engineers
show examples
. Because of
this
huge investment, governments have
expectation
Fix the agreement mistake
expectations
show examples
to them that they repay their
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
with
work
in the
country
where they trained.
According to
statistics, the cost of a student’s medical education lasting 6 years
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
the USA is approximately
3million
Correct your spelling
3 million
dollars.
On the other hand
,
professionals
would earn more money
different
Change preposition
in different
show examples
countries than
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
country
which
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in which
show examples
they qualified.
As a result
of higher earnings, it presents
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
qualified life to them.
However
,
professionals
may prefer to go to countries that offer better standards, especially, in terms of salaries.
For example
, in the UK doctors’ income
around
Add a missing verb
is around
show examples
£20,000 (about ₺800,000)
while
they only gain ₺50,000 in Turkey.
In addition
to that, developed countries gave a lot of
oppurtinities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
to qualified employers as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
skilled
worker
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workers
show examples
, especially, in
practical
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the practical
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
. They would meet advanced technology with regard to their
work
to be more improved in their majors with different experiences.
For instance
, in Dubai,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
is planning to construct numerous
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
of buildings with cutting-edge technology.
According to
Times
Correct article usage
the Times
show examples
,
as a result
of
this
, a lot of
professionals
such
as civil engineers decided to go to
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
Arab Emirates
who
Correct word choice
and
show examples
trained
Wrong verb form
train
show examples
another
Change preposition
in another
show examples
country
. In conclusion,
besides
government’s
Correct article usage
the government’s
show examples
investment,
professionals
should not
be have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
to repay their
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
with stay
Change preposition
by staying
show examples
and
work
Replace the word
working
show examples
in the
country
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
they gain
profession
Correct pronoun usage
their profession
show examples
. I certainly believe that they should be free to choose a
country
which
most
Add a missing verb
is most
show examples
suitable for them.
Submitted by svdnruslu on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use more linking devices such as 'Therefore,' 'In addition to,' etc. to improve cohesion.
Task Achievement
Make sure to address both views equally. The discussion on the first viewpoint could be further developed to provide a balanced argument.
Language Accuracy
Work on improving grammatical accuracy. Pay attention to plural forms, subject-verb agreement, and article usage.
Language Range
Use a wider range of sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance your expression. This will also make your essay more engaging to read.
Task Achievement
The essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and provides relevant examples to support the main points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly states the writer's opinion and outlines the structure of the essay.
Task Achievement
Good use of statistical data and examples to back up arguments, which adds credibility to the points made.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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