Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #school #students #study #news #subjects #waste #time

There are controversial perspectives heating up a debate

whether

Change preposition

about whether

show examples

current

news

should

consider

Wrong verb form

be considered

show examples

an official subject in a classroom setting.

While

some people hold a strong view that it is no use in teaching international

news

, I do not agree with

this

perception as it can provoke secondary students’

interest

. Without a shadow of a doubt, it is unfair if universal

news

is ignored. Nowadays,

highschool

Correct your spelling

high school

show examples

entrance exams require learners to be proficient in mathematics, literature and linguistics.

Therefore

, some parents think it is

such

a waste of time and their children should concentrate on other significant subjects.

However

, not all absorbers want to be scientists, engineers or doctors in the future, so

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

should include a range of universal

news

in order that students have their personal

interest

Fix the agreement mistake

interests

show examples

in lieu of learning math

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

Hence

, it is important for children to be exposed to global information

On the other hand

, It is important that international events ignite great

interest

in abundant careers. Specifically,

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

they can imitate successes in textbooks ,

for instance

, a popular book named Campbell includes a great deal of scientific achievements conducted by Morgan and Mendel. By doing so, secondary students can be impacted positively which raises their

interest

and trust to chase their dream occupations.

Thus

, global

news

acts as an indispensable subject as that information can provide benefits to secondary school learners. In conclusion, whilst some people strongly believe current

news

all around the world is unnecessary to secondary school students, I would contend that those who are at that age should be exposed to that international information.

Submitted by hominhtrang995 on Mon Jun 10 2024

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task achievement

Your argument would be stronger if you provided more specific examples to support your claims. For instance, you could mention specific news topics that have proven beneficial for students or cite studies backing up the importance of global awareness.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences could be more clearly structured to improve comprehension. For example, the sentence 'By doing so, secondary students can be impacted positively which raises their interest and trust to chase their dream occupations' can be clearer if split into two sentences.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to maintain clarity by avoiding overly complex sentence structures. Divide long sentences into two or more shorter ones to make them easier to understand.

introduction conclusion present

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.

complete response

You present both views and give your own opinion, addressing the task requirement well.

clear comprehensive ideas

The ideas presented are clear and you provide valid points for both sides of the argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

265 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Global awareness
Critical thinking
Global citizenship
Cultural diversity
Communication skills
Historical context
World affairs
Academic subjects
Bias
Misinformation
Age-appropriate
Media literacy
Educational enrichment

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Some people think secondary school students should study international news as one of their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Leaders and directors in an organization are frequently older people. Some people think young leaders would be better. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health, others believe that government should make sure that their are healthy.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people support modern developments in agriculture such as factory farming and creation of new types of fruits and vegetables. However, other people oppose this view. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages.