At the present time, the people of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

#time #people #countries #adults

At the present time, the people of some countries

includes

Correct subject-verb agreement

include

show examples

a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

This

essay will explain the advantages and disadvantages of

this

situation which shows a demographic skew towards younger populations.

First,

a youthful

population

can drive economic growth as they form a large part of the workforce, contributing to productivity and innovation. Second these occasions can lead to a vibrant and dynamic society

which

Change preposition

in which

show examples

these processes play an important role in social dynamism.

In addition

, it can support

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

ageing public members that young adults can help the

population

through taxation and welfare systems. All these cases indicate that the growth of the

youth

Correct your spelling

young

show examples

people is a sign in favour of the country. Sometimes

this

increase can result in youth unemployment if there are not enough job opportunities and it can lead to social unrest, disenchantment, and wasted human potential.

While

young adults contribute to economic growth, they

also

have dependency needs,

such

as education and healthcare.

This

means,

there

Correct word choice

that there

show examples

are more young dependents relative to the working-age

population

can strain resources and social services.

While

a youthful

population

is advantageous in the short term, it can lead to challenges in the future as

this

cohort ages. There may be strain on healthcare systems and pension schemes when

this

large cohort reaches retirement age.

In addition

this

case can pressure on infrastructure and it leads to overcrowding, inadequate services, and urban sprawl.

To conclude

while

a youthful

population

can offer numerous advantages, it

also

presents challenges that affect negatively.

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task achievement

Your essay provides a complete response to the task and presents a balanced view with both advantages and disadvantages of a youthful population. However, including more specific examples would enhance the argument.

task achievement

Ensure that all ideas are expressed clearly and comprehensively. For instance, refine sentences like "Second these occasions can lead to a vibrant and dynamic society which these processes play an important role in social dynamism." to improve clarity.

coherence cohesion

While the essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, working on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs will improve coherence. For example, use more transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences are awkward or unclear. Revising these for grammatical accuracy and clarity will improve overall readability. For example, "all these cases indicate that the growth of the youth people is a sign in favour of the country" could be rephrased for better clarity.

task achievement

The essay successfully addresses both advantages and disadvantages of a youthful population, showcasing a balanced discussion.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay, with clear paragraphs for different points, enhances readability and coherence.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and do a good job of framing the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

262 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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At the present time, the people of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that it is possible for a country to be economically successful and have a clean environment. Others argue that these two aims are not compatible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that schools should remove art classes and focus on more important subjects such as mathematics and science. Do the advantages of cutting art classes outweigh the disadvantages?

Many manufactured food and drink contains high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that people should choose their jobs based on income in order to provide security for their families. Do you agree that salary is an important factor when choosing a job? What factors should be considered?