At the present time, the people of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
At the present time, the people of some countries
includes
a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Correct subject-verb agreement
include
This
essay will explain the advantages and disadvantages of this
situation which shows a demographic skew towards younger populations.
First,
a youthful population
can drive economic growth as they form a large part of the workforce, contributing to productivity and innovation. Second these occasions can lead to a vibrant and dynamic society which
these processes play an important role in social dynamism. Change preposition
in which
In addition
, it can support for
ageing public members that young adults can help the Change preposition
apply
population
through taxation and welfare systems. All these cases indicate that the growth of the youth
people is a sign in favour of the country.
Sometimes Correct your spelling
young
this
increase can result in youth unemployment if there are not enough job opportunities and it can lead to social unrest, disenchantment, and wasted human potential. While
young adults contribute to economic growth, they also
have dependency needs, such
as education and healthcare. This
means, there
are more young dependents relative to the working-age Correct word choice
that there
population
can strain resources and social services. While
a youthful population
is advantageous in the short term, it can lead to challenges in the future as this
cohort ages. There may be strain on healthcare systems and pension schemes when this
large cohort reaches retirement age. In addition
, this
case can pressure on infrastructure and it leads to overcrowding, inadequate services, and urban sprawl.
To conclude
, while
a youthful population
can offer numerous advantages, it also
presents challenges that affect negatively.Submitted by checkmyessay9 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task and presents a balanced view with both advantages and disadvantages of a youthful population. However, including more specific examples would enhance the argument.
task achievement
Ensure that all ideas are expressed clearly and comprehensively. For instance, refine sentences like "Second these occasions can lead to a vibrant and dynamic society which these processes play an important role in social dynamism." to improve clarity.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-structured with a clear introduction and conclusion, working on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs will improve coherence. For example, use more transitional phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are awkward or unclear. Revising these for grammatical accuracy and clarity will improve overall readability. For example, "all these cases indicate that the growth of the youth people is a sign in favour of the country" could be rephrased for better clarity.
task achievement
The essay successfully addresses both advantages and disadvantages of a youthful population, showcasing a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay, with clear paragraphs for different points, enhances readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and do a good job of framing the essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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