IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The following bar graph compares the age profiles of male and female cinema goers in the year 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The following bar graph compares the age profiles of male and female cinema goers in the year 2012. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
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The chart illustrates a comparison of men and
women
 who would like to go to the cinema based on their
age
 in 2012.
Overall
, females were almost perfectly higher in every
age
category
 whilst males only have one
group
 of
age
 above the opposite sex.
According to
 the data, only men from 15 to 24 years old have more intention than
women
 in that
category
 to go to a cinema with slightly above 50%. The other
categories
,
for example
, the 25 to 34 and 35 to 44, are having a declined desire to go to the cineplex.
Although
 the following
categories
 had a dramatic increase, it was not even close and significant to match with the first
category
. Three of them from
age
 45 to 54, 55 to 64 and above 65 only have an average of 44%
Conversely
,
women
, all in all, deliberately would like to go to movie theatres with an average of 50% in all
categories
. In the 15 to 24 years old
category
, they have 47.7% of people would like to watch a movie at a box office, similar to the 25 to 34 and over 65-year-old
categories
 with 48.9 % and 47.1%, respectively.
Furthermore
, the
group
 of
women
 from
age
 35 to 44, 45 to 54, and 55 to 64 have above 50%. They have 52% for the first
group
 and 53% for both second and third
group
Submitted by bram.admiral on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words women, age, category, group, categories with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar graph
  • age profiles
  • cinema goers
  • demographic trends
  • percentage
  • attendance
  • age categories
  • gender comparison
  • target audience
  • cinema attendee
  • age-wise breakdown
  • demographic trends
  • highest/lowest attendance
  • noteworthy differences
  • age groups
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