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Band 5.5

There is an increase in the number of parents choosing educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to schools. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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The preference
of
Change preposition
for
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 educating
children
Use synonyms
 at home by parents over letting them join in a traditional class setting has seen a sharp growth recently. From my point of view,
this
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 phenomenon may bring more demerits than their counterparts. Without a shadow of a doubt, it is significant for learners that private schooling is able to customize educational
syllabus
Fix the agreement mistake
syllabi
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. Chief of these is that
this
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 way of educating can change the suitable speed of teaching for certain students.
Furthermore
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, proper subjects related to the demands of learners’ career
path
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paths
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 are provided greatly by private
schools
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. Unlike public
schools
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, the curriculum may cover all subjects in order to ensure
the
Correct article usage
apply
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all-rounded development.
For example
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, medical students would rather learn maths, physics or chemistry than absorb literature, linguistics or art.
Therefore
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, they can focus more on their required academic majors.
Hence
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, household education plays
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such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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a paramount
important
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apply
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role in raising higher quality of education.
On the other hand
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, homeschooled
children
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 miss out on a wide range of benefits provided by public
schools
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. The key argument is that education provided by public
schools
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 formidable interactive activities and
also
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 relationships with other people including teachers and friends. In terms of teachers, they will be provided
knowledgeable
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with knowledgeable
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, proper skills
unlike
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, unlike
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 some parents who lack
of
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apply
show examples
teaching expertise. Regarding friends, learners can participate in clubs which
then
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 they will learn how to cultivate problem-solving skills.
In other words
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, public
schools
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 are considered a small-sized society which beneficial for students’ development.
Thus
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, public
schools
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 should be put priority
on
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apply
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due to
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 tremendous benefits. In conclusion,
although
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 the redeeming features of homeschooling are widely acknowledged, homeschooled
children
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 miss out on some benefits of teachers and partners when they participate in
Use synonyms
schools
Fix the agreement mistake
school
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.
Moreover
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, all concerns of running the risks caused by their peers can be solved provided that parents teach
children
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 to face problems
such
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 as bullying.

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coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas within paragraphs for a smoother reading experience. Ensure that each paragraph supports the main argument clearly and logically.
task achievement
Enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of ideas by ensuring that all points are thoroughly explained and supported with relevant specific examples. This will strengthen your arguments.
general
Refine your grammar and vocabulary usage to avoid minor inaccuracies. This will help in delivering ideas more effectively and maintaining reader's engagement.
task achievement
The essay provides a complete response to the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling.
coherence cohesion
Clear and effective introduction and conclusion that set the stage for discussing the key points and summarizing the argument.
coherence cohesion
Well-supported main points with logical arguments, making the essay convincing on the role and benefits of both homeschooling and public schooling.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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