Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

#people #exercise #time #health

Various employees do not train or do any exercise through the weekdays or on weekends, as we observed that the problems of health are increasing these days. There are many reasons for

this

issue

also

this

trouble

became

Wrong verb form

has become

show examples

the one popular problem

Change preposition

show examples

the world. There are several reasons for

this

situation. Either of these problems working people do not have enough time to focus on routine and habits because they have

long-hours

Correct your spelling

long hours

show examples

at work.

Moreover

, almost all companies do not have facilities

such

as gyms and spas. Even though all employees are not aware of investing in their health,

this

may cause rising disease and they will suffer in the future.

On the other hand

, there are various solutions to resolve

this

issue.

Firstly

, managers of companies have to aid their workforce in order to serve substantially. As follows : reduce working hours or provide two hours lunch break or increase awareness about health and what the benefits are when any one trains well.

Besides

, the most important solution is facilities as

what

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

I mentioned before, the governments have to improve the quality of life

such

support

Replace the word

supporting

show examples

the public sector from their side and

build

Wrong verb form

building

show examples

gyms near working places.

To sum up

, employees should know the results when they do not exercise .

Also

, the leader of companies

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

to explain why

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports are the most important

things

Fix the agreement mistake

thing

show examples

for their workers.

Submitted by nahlaalrashidi on Mon Jun 10 2024

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task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support the points raised. For instance, mention particular health problems that result from lack of exercise and give detailed examples of how companies can promote physical activity.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear and singular focus. For example, separate discussions about lack of time and lack of facilities into distinct paragraphs for better clarity.

coherence cohesion

Work on improving sentence structure and grammar. This will make your essay clearer and more professional.

task achievement

The essay addresses both parts of the task, identifying reasons why people don't exercise and suggesting solutions.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present and relevant to the essay question.

coherence cohesion

The essay uses a variety of language and indicates a good range of vocabulary.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

233 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Time constraints
Sedentary lifestyle
Passive leisure activities
Workplace wellness programs
Active commuting
Subsidized
Public awareness
Health benefits
Incentivizing
Accessible public spaces

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Many working people get little or no exercise either during the working day or in their free time, and have health problems as a result. Why do many working people not get enough exercise? What can be done about this problem?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people believe that the radio is the best way to get new while others believe that TV is better for this purpose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Research says more and more business training and business meetings are taking place online. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?