The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

The plans illustrate the changes that have been made to Grance

Park

, comparing its look on the first day of its launch in 1920, to how it looks now. In terms of location, the entrances remain at the same place and a new entrance to the underground car

park

was added.

In addition

, the rose garden in the top left remains the same. The rest of the

park

has completely changed its look. Comparing emendates, a new cafe was built

instead

of a rose garden in the top right and a pond for water plants was replaced by a children's play area.

In addition

, the seats that in 1920 were spread along the fence, today centralized around the rose garden, in the middle of the area. The old stage for the musicians was replaced by an amphitheatre for concerts and

instead

of a glasshouse water feature was established.

Overall

, the modern version of the

park

is more orientated to children and has an upgraded place for music performances,

as well as

provides additional services,

such

as a cafe and underground parking facilities,

however

, fewer plants are presented.

Submitted by vikiregev on Mon Jun 10 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction provides a clear overview of the essay’s purpose, but could be made more engaging. Consider adding more specific details or context.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow by using linking words or phrases to connect ideas smoothly. For example, use words like 'furthermore,' 'moreover,' or 'however.'

task achievement

Ensure each point is fully developed. For instance, could you elaborate on how the changes affect visitors' experience?

task achievement

Check for small grammatical errors and awkward phrases. For example, 'completely changed its look' could be revised to 'has undergone significant changes.'

task achievement

The essay provides a comprehensive comparison between the park in 1920 and today.

task achievement

Main points are generally clear and relevant to the topic.

coherence cohesion

There is a logical progression of ideas and the essay is organized well into paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

187 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

recreational facilities
landscaping
naturalistic
amenities
formal gardens
ergonomic
symmetric designs
inclusive
accessible
accommodations
native plant species
societal changes
visitor services
community events
evolution
modern playgrounds
wildflower meadows

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The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease,governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a homes rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case ? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In some countries, the role of a mother differs in some ways from the role of a father. Why do you think these differences exist? How might parental roles develop in the future?

Most high level positions in companies are filled by men eventhough the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50%female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain % of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?