The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

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The plans illustrate the changes that have been made to Grance

Park

Use synonyms

, comparing its look on the first day of its launch in 1920, to how it looks now. In terms of location, the entrances remain at the same place and a new entrance to the underground car

park

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was added.

In addition

Linking Words

, the rose garden in the top left remains the same. The rest of the

park

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has completely changed its look. Comparing emendates, a new cafe was built

instead

Linking Words

of a rose garden in the top right and a pond for water plants was replaced by a children's play area.

In addition

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, the seats that in 1920 were spread along the fence, today centralized around the rose garden, in the middle of the area. The old stage for the musicians was replaced by an amphitheatre for concerts and

instead

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of a glasshouse water feature was established.

Overall

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, the modern version of the

park

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is more orientated to children and has an upgraded place for music performances,

as well as

Linking Words

provides additional services,

such

Linking Words

as a cafe and underground parking facilities,

however

Linking Words

, fewer plants are presented.

Submitted by vikiregev on Mon Jun 10 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your introduction provides a clear overview of the essay’s purpose, but could be made more engaging. Consider adding more specific details or context.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow by using linking words or phrases to connect ideas smoothly. For example, use words like 'furthermore,' 'moreover,' or 'however.'

task achievement

Ensure each point is fully developed. For instance, could you elaborate on how the changes affect visitors' experience?

task achievement

Check for small grammatical errors and awkward phrases. For example, 'completely changed its look' could be revised to 'has undergone significant changes.'

task achievement

The essay provides a comprehensive comparison between the park in 1920 and today.

task achievement

Main points are generally clear and relevant to the topic.

coherence cohesion

There is a logical progression of ideas and the essay is organized well into paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

187 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

recreational facilities
landscaping
naturalistic
amenities
formal gardens
ergonomic
symmetric designs
inclusive
accessible
accommodations
native plant species
societal changes
visitor services
community events
evolution
modern playgrounds
wildflower meadows

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The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today.

Fully explain your ideas

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

In many countries, people are consuming more sugar-based drinks than before. Why is this happening, and what could be done to reduce sugary drink consumption.

Some children spend hours every day on smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world facing today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures can government and individuals take to tackle the issue.